Beak Beautician Pillows

"I got a beak job."

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

The adoration of the gels.

Spa

Doing the borders.

Dragon Hair-dryer.

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

'Have you no common scents?!'

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

What price beauty?

"I don't like your application."

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

'I'm not in shock, my eyebrows are just receding with my hairline.'

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

A Manicure

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

'I'm not begging, I've just painted my claws.'

"Ernie's full service salon and day spa."

Beauty salon - Our hair color is to dye for!

Woman applying makeup

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

"I'm not trying to be beautiful, I'm only trying to look better than everyone else there."

The Tragedy of Prosperity

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

"Every Thursday I do her nails."

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'