Beak Beautician Pillows

"I got a beak job."

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

The adoration of the gels.

Spa

Doing the borders.

Dragon Hair-dryer.

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

Hot Pie Therapy

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

'Have you no common scents?!'

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

'I'm not in shock, my eyebrows are just receding with my hairline.'

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

What price beauty?

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

"I don't like your application."

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

A Manicure

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

Normal Beard vs. Hipster Beard

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

'I'm not begging, I've just painted my claws.'

Beauty salon - Our hair color is to dye for!

Woman applying makeup

"Ernie's full service salon and day spa."

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

"I'm not trying to be beautiful, I'm only trying to look better than everyone else there."

The Tragedy of Prosperity

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

"Every Thursday I do her nails."