Bathroom Aesthetician Pillows

'The old one fell apart.'

The adoration of the gels.

Spa

Dragon Hair-dryer.

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

'Have you no common scents?!'

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

What price beauty?

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

"I don't like your application."

'I'm not in shock, my eyebrows are just receding with my hairline.'

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

A Manicure

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

"How much?! Blimey, to get my money's worth, I'd need to use it EVERY WEEK!"

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

'I'm not begging, I've just painted my claws.'

"Ernie's full service salon and day spa."

Beauty salon - Our hair color is to dye for!

Woman applying makeup

"I'm not trying to be beautiful, I'm only trying to look better than everyone else there."

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

The Tragedy of Prosperity

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

"Every Thursday I do her nails."

"I look kind of nice today. . . How long have I been this ugly?"

'Well you tried, but be sure to keep Proof of Purchase.'

'There's no charge for the carrier bag!'

Rape of the Lock- The Toilet