Bathroom Beauty Seeker Pillows

'The old one fell apart.'

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

"How much?! Blimey, to get my money's worth, I'd need to use it EVERY WEEK!"

The Tragedy of Prosperity

"Botox."

'Which one of these things is the soap?'

"I can Botox it, but I don’t want to freeze up my sixth chakra."

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"

She. 'Isn't it a pretty view?' Susceptible Youth. 'Awfully pretty, by Jove!'

Gender Specific Bath Towels (Hers)

WC problem.

"Looks like Billy clogged up the toilet again."

Analysis of Beauty - Plate I.

Mummy Toilet Roll.

'The marriage counselor didn't save our marriage. The plumber and the second bathroom saved our marriage.'

'Mirror mirror on the wall who's the fairest one of all considering her age?'

'Honey, I think you overdid the plastic canvas decorations in the bathroom.'

"You've taken those hideous curlers out, had a scrub up, shaved your legs. Looks like it's your lucky night babe."

How men shop for towels.

"The marriage counselor didn't save our marriage. The plumber with the second bathroom saved our marriage."

'Yes, I did give you permission to play with a boat in the bath tub. However, I was thinking of a toy boat.'

"I'll bet you'd like me if I had curly hair."

Landscape artist

Primavera (Spring)

"I told you she'd had some work done."

"Ready now, Miss Henderson."

'It's so ironic: I finally win a prize at a raffle and it has to be a free pedicure!'

'Oh goody, chunky soup!'

Which one of these things is the soap?

Cosmetic surgeon tells Ugly Duckling: 'Of course, there's a POSSIBILITY that you are a swan, but do you want to take that risk?'

"I'm old. What's good for that?"

"Skip the job description and tell me how clean and well-lighted your bathrooms are!"

'Oh for crying out loud, so there's a spider in the bathtub!!'

'How can you claim we lead the good life when we don't even have a brass toilet paper dispenser?'