Beautician Pillows

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

'For an extra $25 we can set the surgical lamps on tanning mode.'

'Hello, I'm from the company that provides your gas, electricity, water, phone and internet. We were wondering ... who does your hair these days?'

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

'See you later, Honey.'

Week three, things started to get ugly.

'We can remove the hair from your back. Yes, your husband's back, too!'

"...with the Botox injections... I never lose at poker."

'There, there, Mrs Hornsby. Many women your age go through menopausal facial hair growth.'

'This won't hurt.'

"Welcome madam, may I take your fur coat?"

'Who ordered the Brazilian?'

Where wrinkle cream comes from. . .

'It takes longer every week - they're bound to raise their prices soon!'

'I'm not begging, I've just painted my claws.'

'I can tell a lot about a man just by looking at his nails!'

Manure/Manicure.

Rabbit has cosmetically enhanced teeth: 'I always said that when I could afford to I'd get them fixed.'

'Slices Mandy! Just slices!'

Mother reading 'the ugly duckling' to child, who asks 'What about botox?'

"Cool... You got a Brazilian Wax."

'Goodness, have you been clawing your way to the top?'

Gladstone undergoing beautifying process

'Why is it women spend hours plucking their eyebrows...then spend hours penciling them back in again!'

Fish Pedicure

'Have you no common scents?!'

'Marvelous Makeovers. Hair by Debby, Nails by Fawn, Laser surgery by Dora.'

'It would seem that grooming one another is very important in maintaining social order.'

'There'll be a two-hour recess while I get my hair done.'

The Anti-flat shampoo worked.

"My beautician said I've got the skin of an 18 year old, the hair of a 22 year old and the body of a 23 year old."

Spa

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

Egg in tanning salon

"It may be expensive for fragrance, but it's cheap for aromatherapy."