Beautician Pillows

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

'Hello, I'm from the company that provides your gas, electricity, water, phone and internet. We were wondering ... who does your hair these days?'

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

Week three, things started to get ugly.

'See you later, Honey.'

'There, there, Mrs Hornsby. Many women your age go through menopausal facial hair growth.'

"...with the Botox injections... I never lose at poker."

'We can remove the hair from your back. Yes, your husband's back, too!'

"Welcome madam, may I take your fur coat?"

'This won't hurt.'

'Who ordered the Brazilian?'

'It takes longer every week - they're bound to raise their prices soon!'

'I can tell a lot about a man just by looking at his nails!'

'I'm not begging, I've just painted my claws.'

Rabbit has cosmetically enhanced teeth: 'I always said that when I could afford to I'd get them fixed.'

"My beautician said I've got the skin of an 18 year old, the hair of a 22 year old and the body of a 23 year old."

'Why is it women spend hours plucking their eyebrows...then spend hours penciling them back in again!'

"Cool... You got a Brazilian Wax."

Gladstone undergoing beautifying process

'It would seem that grooming one another is very important in maintaining social order.'

'Slices Mandy! Just slices!'

Mother reading 'the ugly duckling' to child, who asks 'What about botox?'

Fish Pedicure

'Have you no common scents?!'

'Marvelous Makeovers. Hair by Debby, Nails by Fawn, Laser surgery by Dora.'

'Goodness, have you been clawing your way to the top?'

'There'll be a two-hour recess while I get my hair done.'

The Anti-flat shampoo worked.

Fish pedicures - a woman with her feet in goldfish bowls, with the fish complaining about what they have to eat since the beauty craze took off.

'Can you a bit of paint on these?'

Beauty Salon - "I'm just sorry we couldn't do more for you."

'I was late again this morning. The boss is going to tear a strip off me!'

'Do you mind if I rake it through first, sir?'

"Every Thursday I do her nails."

"It may be expensive for fragrance, but it's cheap for aromatherapy."