Facebook Browsing Gifts

"...then click 'save settings', scroll down to 'done' and voila! You're on Facebook stalking Miriam's daughter's new husband."

Online form - Submit.

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"Can I keep them? I found him on the internet?"

Evolution.

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

"Just one more site!" "I'm totally, like, in control!" "I can quit anytime I feel like it..."

Great British Eccentrics.

"Stinkin' fake news!"

'You must have been wearing your beer googles.'

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."

Obsession with the Internet.

Hamlet's struggle with online shopping addiction. To eBay or not to eBay.

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

"Sorry, website closed for lunch."

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

"You've got computer-breath."

Dad Trophies

Man doing a search on a computer

Addicted to Facebook...lost internet connection.

'It was a real scroller. I couldn't put down my screen.'

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

Bill glanced up from his computer. It was dark outside. He smelled of BO. A little voice inside his head whispered, 'you should probably log off now.'

Travelogue

"I've grown numb to exclamation points."

'We no longer look at résumés. We go straight to your Facebook page.'

Clickbait

'I caught him watching tv, surfing the net, and playing video games ..book him!'

'I've been googling your condition and I'm afraid to say...I think I might have it myself.'