Fabric Funsters Pillows

Outlaw Quilting Bees

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"I was almost that last year."

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

"Study her closely...the laughing eyes, the dimpled smile...she's got 'em right where she wants 'em."

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

"These few weeks off school have convinced me that I'm definitely a stay-at-home kid."

Climbing with the baby

With Grandpa it was often a game of hide and sleep.

"I don't get it! They're both diurnal, so why on earth would they bring back from the hospital a baby that's awake all night?"

'The puppy just downloaded on your computer keyboard.'

"You think you hate me now, but just wait until I'm old and a burden to you."

'Before we begin, he's the one that's been helping me with my homework.'

The Horse Jump - One girl makes it over, the other is cover in leaves.

'Look. A mom with a handy carrying case.'

'Young Master and I are both turning two: How come I'm so much more mature than he is?'

"A raise? You want me to give you a raise? Do I look like f*ckin' Santa Claus?"

"How do you like my 'Pop art'?"

'He takes after your mother' (colour)

Pirates

"We can do it on the net now... so it's off to the knackery for you."

"Please let go of Daddy's chest hair."

'Congratulations Mrs Marrow, it's a courgette.'

'Did you know that turkeys and dinosaurs are closely related? Meet my cousin, Lenny!'

Leopards do change their spots

The TROU of the Baroque

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

"You spoil that boy."

Santa Randy was fired and Santa Claus got the job.

'If Aunt Arctica is on the bottom of the world, does that mean Uncle Artica is on top of the world?'

"One day you'll thank me for embarrassing you in front of the entire Internet."

"That's right, Robert. Santa sends us a copy of his naughty and nice list, and we send him our students' grades."