Fashion Funster Pillows

'He's having a bad feather day.'

'My wife knitted it for me.'

Dressed as Tins

Twins

"Great! I'll take it. Don't bother to wrap it, I'll wear it home!"

"I'm sorry, but I assumed it was a fancy dress costume..."

Pirates

"The paunch is magnificent & those shorts are sublime."

The last of the mullet.

'Quasimodo discovers he can't wear roll neck sweaters'

"A plumber fixes a sink showing his women's underwear."

"No need to change, what you're wearing's fine."

The ozone and the ozone layer.

'No, it can't be my size, it's comfortable.'

'It's an invitation to a trunk show.'

'I haven't gained much weight...I'll bet I can still fit into the pants I wore in high school...'

I don't think this "jewelry" fad will catch on.

The TROU of the Baroque

"I was almost that last year."

Cheeze Wiz.

"Are you ready to engage with rock-rased content?"

The Horse Jump - One girl makes it over, the other is cover in leaves.

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

"A raise? You want me to give you a raise? Do I look like f*ckin' Santa Claus?"

"We can do it on the net now... so it's off to the knackery for you."

"I was all set to go to the gym, but you'd be amazed how much, yoga class and pour-a-glass, sound alike."

"I didn't say I started jogging, I said blogging."

'I'm still working on my novel. In the meantime, and this is between you and me, I make ends meet by writing all those cat memes you see on Facebook.'

Santa Randy was fired and Santa Claus got the job.

"Oh I don't mind the jogging, but I think you tricked me. When you asked if I wanted to exercise, I thought you said, extra fries!"

Leopards do change their spots

"The water for your fishbowl was approved, but it looks like for now you're not getting the fish."

"It's improv night."

"That's right, Robert. Santa sends us a copy of his naughty and nice list, and we send him our students' grades."

"Rum and coke...why, what do you drink on a fun run?"