Fabric Fanatic Gifts

Hanley Fabric Co., Polly-Esther

"I'm having my annual reunion with Polartec, Thinsulate, fleece, and my oldest friend, wool."

'That's the material I want for our new lounge curtains.'

"Have ye seen a whale that matches this swatch?"

I quilt therefore I am

Inventor names new fabric after his sisters, Polly and Esther.

"It's 25% cotton and 75% made in China"

Man admiring his patterned clothes in the mirror

'I knew I should have married Peter Polyestertail!'

Pin Cushion to roll of cotton: 'Hi! I'm a pin cushion! I love my job!' Pin Cushion's reply: 'MASOCHIST!'

"It's made of all-natural materials, but needs a little wedding on occasion!"

"Tia Carmen, can you make a new dress for my doll?"

'It's 50 Rayon, 50 wool and 30 deposit.'

Ironing Boardroom Decisions

'All right, who sewed in the disposable diaper?'

"Ooops....I guess this one failed."

"I'd like to return these - the fabric has way too much memory."

Somewhere in France: The Fabric of Daily French Life Is On Display

"Did you throw away this tabletop?"

"It's the latest fabric: 40% dacron 40% orlon, 20% recombinant DNA."

Maid with her sewing basket

Sewing Buddies

"Vlad realized, right there and then, that he should have bought the buff-white or even the oatmeal-colored sheets."

'The wool is virgin - it's none of your damn business about the sheep!'

"It's not cotton, honey. It's nylon quilted to polyester. The leaves and trim are twenty per cent acrylic and eighty per cent modacrylic, and the flowers are acetate. The backing is polypropylene. Go to bed."

'This caught my eye; Johann Sebastian needs new study curtains - and he does like a good pattern.'

King Madras

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

Scissors cutting on the dotted line

"I'm starting to think stripes."

And what do you suggest we do with the other 2,000 yards?

Linen drapers trying to sell thier wares to a customer.

Holstered. Reupholstered.

It's a new miracle fabric, of course.

"When it fills in I'm hoping for the texture of corduroy."