Fable Folklore Fanatic Gifts

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"I don't care about the rating on Goodreads. We're reading Cinderella!"

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

Unfinished painting of a monster in a lake sits beside the lake with no painter in sight

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

'This has all the makings of a fable. But first lets take lots of tests.'

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

'...this is Loch Lomand!'

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

"Eat my dust!"

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

Another Bigfoot sighting...

"Why is there so much emphasis put on our stupid race?" "I think people are more interested in it as a metaphor than as an actual race." "Slow and steady wins the race, that sort of thing." "That would explain why I always lose..." "Bartender, another please." "Maybe you should slow down." "You never learn do you?"

"What the hell took so long?"

'I don't care what the Hares have. Dial-Up is good enough for us!'

"Ever since you changed from a frog to a Prince you seem a little jumpy!"

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

Grimm's Reality Tales.

'He was a handsome young prince when I married him.'

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

"So you kiss me and I turn into a prince? No thanks, sweetie, I'm gay. I'm already a queen."

Invisible clothes

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

Chicken Little was correct about something falling, unfortunately, it was an axe, and not the sky.

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

"Damn! I'm in the wrong fairy tale. This is the three little pig's house, not the three bear's!"

"Like that?"

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."