Fable Fanatics Gifts

The Bull, the Bear, the Ant, and the Grasshopper

'Ever since I lost that stupid race, I've been a laughing stock wherever I go...'

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"I don't care about the rating on Goodreads. We're reading Cinderella!"

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

'This has all the makings of a fable. But first lets take lots of tests.'

'This wasn't quite the fairytale ending that Colin had anticipated...'

"What the hell took so long?"

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

'I don't care what the Hares have. Dial-Up is good enough for us!'

"Why is there so much emphasis put on our stupid race?" "I think people are more interested in it as a metaphor than as an actual race." "Slow and steady wins the race, that sort of thing." "That would explain why I always lose..." "Bartender, another please." "Maybe you should slow down." "You never learn do you?"

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

"Ever since you changed from a frog to a Prince you seem a little jumpy!"

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

"Eat my dust!"

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

Grimm's Reality Tales.

Mouse is doctor to lions with thorns in paws.

"So you kiss me and I turn into a prince? No thanks, sweetie, I'm gay. I'm already a queen."

"Damn! I'm in the wrong fairy tale. This is the three little pig's house, not the three bear's!"

Giant Monster in Bath

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

'He was a handsome young prince when I married him.'

Invisible clothes

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

"Like that?"

'I hate bloody football! It's just a bunch of over-rated, overpaid nancy boys kicking a b-' - 'Genuine football fans may leave work early to avoid missing the start of important World Cup fixtures.' - 'C'mon England!'

'We're out of water, Jack. Time to go back up the hill to fetch a pail.'

Fairy Library - Cinderella Marries the Prince

Updated Stories. The Wicked Witch Of The West Tries A New Tactic To Get The Ruby Slippers. Security Checkpoint. Remove your shoes, please.

The Impractical Guide to having a baby.