Fairytale Fanatic Gifts

"Like that?"

'Yeah. Yeah... Wolf, girl, grandma. I got the picture.'

'Well, little pigs, maybe I couldn't blow your house down .... but I checked with City Hall and found out you guys didn't apply for a building permit ...'

Fairytale procurement disasters

'Jack, these aren't just ordinary magic beans...they're 'organic' magic beans.'

....Third Little Pig was outbid.

'I'd call security but I think this is a good sign.'

"The HOA is bustin' my chops about my paint colors!"

Witch's cottage covered in drugs.

"And who's been trawling through my personal information?"

'Well, it may appear sound, Mr Pig, but in my opinion, a huff or a puff could soon bring the place down.'

'Did she do anything about the falling sky after she was elected?'

"Gosh, Grandma, what big drinks you pour."

'Not only didn't he turn into a prince, but he gave me these awful warts!'

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Damsel and squashed rescuer

'The premium is on the high side, but this policy allows you unlimited 'Nibbling Children' claims.'

Wolf calls a lock smith.

'What if I told you I'm a billionaire golf pro?'

Fairy Godmother

"We're down to seven. Snow White's just kicked out Gropey!"

'Some people just can't take criticism!'

'I can't climb up there, I suffer from vertigo!'

"We'll catch 'em and cook 'em when the sugar wears off."

Cosmetic surgeon tells Ugly Duckling: 'Of course, there's a POSSIBILITY that you are a swan, but do you want to take that risk?'

'He had Rumplestiltskin spin all the kingdom's straw into gold, and then all the cows starved to death.'

"Define fair."

'No pennies.'

Obese Hansel and Grettle

Cinderella waits at bus stop.

Three little pig's wolf has bad breath

Although he huffed & puffed, the Big Bad Wolf was unable to hack the third Little Pig's computer!

'Sure she's a witch, but at least she doesn't keep banging on about healthy eating!'

"The Big Bad Wolf Bank has served us with foreclosures."

'I'm from Teamsters' Local 972, Ma'am -- we have reports that you've been turning mice into coachmen.'

'I'd like the Hansel and Gretel value meal...'