Eye Strain Sufferers Club Gifts

"You know those eyeballl rotations you do to relieve computer eye-strain...don't do them in front of customers"

"Try thinking about something else."

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

"The chairman said he wanted to see you when you got out of hospital."

'Inadvertently, Optometrist Niles Frobe triggers the Global Financial crisis' 'You have a bad case of eyestrain. I want you to keep your eyes off the ball for a few weeks!'

'Inadvertently, Optometrist Niles Frobe triggers the Global Financial crisis' 'You have a bad case of eyestrain. I want you to keep your eyes off the ball for a few weeks!'

Can't read 'SLOW'.

After her laser surgery, Alice was able to read barcodes without an optical scanner.

"We'd like to start out being very involved with you but eventually be drawn away to much more interesting cases down the hall."

"Eye irritation is quite common when Saturn and Jupiter are in this position. It's called conjunctivitis."

"I'm here because my vision is getting so bad I can't even see clearly in my dreams at night!"

'Will these glasses help him see things my way?'

'The problem isn't your high definition television, it's your low definition eyes.'

Human Error and Computer Error.

'Very good, but not quite 'presidential vision'.'

'Don't tell me you weren't speeding back there. When you drove by me, all I could see was a blur.'

"Am I seeing double? You and your twin are the experts, why don't you two tell me!"

"Sleep? No, I'm the anxiety fairy. How about a cuppa joe?"

'Lasik surgery is VERY affordable nowadays...UNLESS YOU'RE A FLY!'

"He's not my dog, he's my partner."

'Make sure they fit straight'

"If you can't sleep you may as well be productive and guard the meth lab."

'Are you sure that mobile eye clinic was ok, Dear?'

"Sure, playing hot potato is fun until someone pokes an eye out!"

When animal cloners suffer from insomnia.

Reading Glasses

'We're hopeful the built up pressure will subside, but right now he's still in glaucoma.'

"I just got these new glasses from my ophthalmologist – they come with tiny windshield wipers to clean the fog from my mask!"

'...Don't move. I dropped my contact.'

'Toss 'em here.....I'll work them into my show!'

'Good news, Little Orphan Annie. We've finally got some donated corneas for you.'

'My master is doing Nordic Walking and he needs to see the ophthalmologist!'

'No, it doesn't connect to an X-box!'

'Mum, are you sure carrots are good for my eyesight?'

'When you said this was an eye examination for Macular Degeneration, I didn't think you meant an actual exam!'