Eye-mazing Eater T-Shirts

'These are my dieting glasses. They magnify the food so I think I'm eating more than I really am.'

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

'Another neat trick is to cut regular spaghetti into little pieces, and next thing you know you've got yourself a bowl of spaghetti-i-s.'

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

'Okay mum, I'll eat it all up. But I doubt I'll grow big and strong on this muck!'

"There are no croutons. I use tater tots on my salad."

"Give my compliments to the Biotech industry"

'I wish I hadn't coloured in all that bread, now.'

"I'd go with French Impressionist. It evokes the burnished golds of autumn leaves and the bittersweet regrets of lost love. It's also on special."

Children's Dream Dinners: Superhero Special

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

'We're at an Italian restaurant this time, Kevin -- those are breadsticks, not giant-size chopsticks.'

"And this is my oldest son I was telling you about. The one that eats like a horse."

'I really love this stuff, but I still have a lot of trouble with sushi.'

Access Denied!

"Is everything all right? Any reactions to the irradiated carrots, the transgenic tomatoes, or the antibiotics in the chicken?"

I'm so hungry I could eat a horse! You've come to the right place.

Babies who Lunch.

"I wonder how many Facebook likes I'll get."

Boy who has eaten oysters and grown fat

"Would you like any suburbs, or just the check?"

Diners sit in high chairs, wear bibs and eat baby food. Man says: 'I love this place, it's just so retro.'

'Can I get you anything else, sir?'

"Stop playing with your food and eat your dinner!"

How to sell healthy food...

'Joe's Junk Food.' 'At least he's honest.'

"The good thing about eating a melon is that you wash your face at the same time!"

'Could I have a look at your childrens menu? It's only my inner child that's hungry!'

Esp Pizza - You'll get it before you order it, or it's free!

For twenty years Harold had been a devoted vegetarian, but then one day...

'With a grin like that you can't be sticking to your diet'

"I'd like the spaghetti surprise."

Jim checks his breadbox inbox.

Three square meals a day.