Eater Extraordinaire T-Shirts

I'm so hungry I could eat a horse! You've come to the right place.

Domestic Goddess.

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

'Okay mum, I'll eat it all up. But I doubt I'll grow big and strong on this muck!'

"...And would sir care to kill the rabbit himself?"

"I'd go with French Impressionist. It evokes the burnished golds of autumn leaves and the bittersweet regrets of lost love. It's also on special."

Children's Dream Dinners: Superhero Special

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

"And this is my oldest son I was telling you about. The one that eats like a horse."

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

"Smoked salmon, sir?" "I prefer to eat it, thanks."

Access Denied!

"Do you know donuts have fewer calories than you? I guess that would explain your muffin top."

'Have you noticed how portions are getting bigger?'

"Yes, you could have cooked it, but you didn't."

“Here’s to the 240 bucks we’re paying the sitter.”

'I think we should eat out in the hotel tomorrow dear.'

"If I'd wanted a Picasso I'd have gone to an art gallery, wouldn't I?"

Spaghetto

"This is a self-service diner. I cook the meals and I eat them myself."

Bangers and Mash

'These are my dieting glasses. They magnify the food so I think I'm eating more than I really am.'

this place got five stars for its fresh food

Master Chef

'Frankly, the diet I'm putting you on will include things that you probably wouldn't consider 'food' as such.'

'Can I get you anything else, sir?'

Chicken A La King

Noah Cappe - Host of Carnival Eats

"He's really healthy, except for the grilled cheese."

This is a classic dish, that I've pulled apart, then reconstructed.

'Resveratrol? Flavonoids? Phenolic compounds? Whatever happened to asking about the grape type and origin?'

'Free meal.' 'Because you're the first customer to come back.'