Eye Communicator Pillows

"I have very expressive eyes."

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

"We evolved from asteroids"

"My Blackberry will get in touch with your Blackberry."

Mr Jones is not seeing anyone in person. Do you have a webcam?

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

The next wave

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

A mathematical question for you. Do we divide or multiply?

Climate Conference. I'm glad you enjoyed my speech, but please don't call it the "high-water mark."

"Janet, please. I'm calling the vet's office to check their lost and found. That's the last place I saw my nuts."

"Blame the scientists who are teaching me sign-language Mum: It's not my fault if it's easier to learn the rude signs..."

"Hmm. . . Human droppings. . .!"

'I don't care what your chat group says. I say you're becoming overly dependent on technological gadgetry.'

'And the actual value of the Hubble Constant is critical to the question or whether our Universe will continue to expand forever, or...POP.'

'Now we'll have to explain it to the press. Remember - keep it superficial.'

Person talks on phone as other blogs.

I hate it when the moon shows his dark side...

Tell me about your history. What are your interests? What kind of places do you visit? Are you careful? House of Java.net Cybercafe. You know what I mean: Are you the type that gets around? Your computer seems chaste. You may use it to send me an email. My laptop is virus-free. Freak.

Look, dork, I won't ask again. Will you help me use a computer? Maybe. What for? Internet Scrabble. I hear it is possible to play – what is the word? Online? I should like to send data over cyberspace. Through cyberspace.

I see. And why do you think you often feel lonely?

"I'm not great at communication, but my little buddy is."

'Sometimes I think my wife's on another planet.'

'It's an email of a text that someone twittered...I think.'

"When did tweeting become such an angry thing?"

'That line means good managerial skills!'

'I wonder if TED ever listens.'

Research Concludes: We are destroying Earth.

"We don't communicate any more..."

And now it's time for "Critic's Corner." Today, Gene will criticize the basic structure of the universe.

A star called Gliese 710 is about to pass through our solar system and head straight for earth! Well … by "about to," I mean in about 1.35 million years. And by "through our solar system," I mean through our oort cloud. And by "head straight for earth" I mean it'll pass us by about 13,000 times the distance between the sun and the earth. Is a crowd gathering around me? No. I told you, click-bait headlines only work on the internet.

Employee Questions.