Office Communicator Pillows

"Got your e-mail, thanks."

"Donald, you’re in the C-suite now. No more smiley faces or exclamation points."

'Take a letter Irene. Ace Pest Control, we are very dissatisfied with your service.'

'Could you read it back to yourself? -- I hate to get into sloppy speech habits.'

Suggestions.

Employee Questions.

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

"I'm overpaid and underworked, but you don't see me complaining!"

"Any questions?"

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

"A one-word email reply... classic power move."

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

"Repeat after me: We are delivering the proactive core value promises and rolling out our real time best practice action plan going forward ..."

'Could we finish these negotiations via e-mail? That will allow me to think before I respond to your proposals.'

"I hear you may do a baby."

"My resume is concise, succinct and eloquently worded. I only hope they know what I'm talking about."

"Using worst case scenario as a baseline, I consider this data quite encouraging."

'I'll review your salary next spring.'

'Boss, it seems like a friendly text, but you've got to learn to read between the emoticons.'

'Who wants the talking stick?'

"Does it ever cross your mind that we make a lot of money because no one else wants to do what we do?"

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

"What other skills do you obtain other than being able to answer interview questions?"

'The Human Right Act bans ANY cruel or unusual treatment...we may need to rewrite our ENTIRE customer care policy!'

'I can beat my own drum but it'll be counting on your to toot my horn.'

"Despite years of management training john still found it difficult to give negative feedback."

'Your proposal sounds interesting. Can you send me a written proposal? I cannot reread a phone call.'

Bob tried networking – and crashed it.

"I'm really great thanks. The boss loves my ideas, he says I'm ahead of my time!" "Hi John, how are you? Good meeting?"

"Love your feng shui!"

"Take this mission statement and rewrite it so that it sounds like we care about our customers."

'I'm feeling a sense of conclusion here, so let's draw things to a close.'