Extinction-prepper Gifts

The End of the World is Nigh - man with placard

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

'Hello Colin, I'm Arthur, any idea what all the fuss is about?'

'Now, think hard about it: Do you want to be known as the one who ate the last Dodo?'

"I'm sending you an interesting article about declining birth rates."

'Good grief! Aren't you extinct yet?'

The last Passenger Pigeon

A sun opens its mouth to eat a burning Earth

'I'd hire you, but the word is going around you guys are practically extinct!'

'...And they're giving us sixty million years to get in compliance.'

Cheer up-things aren't so bad.....

Zombie Problems

'Good grief! Aren't you guys extinct yet?'

The End is Nigh

Asteroid Denying Dinosaur vs. Asteroid Believing Dinosaur.

'Just as I suspected, Simpson. The extinction process happened very suddenly.'

Energy Conservation Be Damned. Fred constantly prepared for Global Warming and Nuclear Winter to happen at the same time.

The end is near - well, at least for the sandwich board guy.

"That's a meteor. If it hits the ground its a meteorite."

The Ambivalence of a Nice Day in February

Judgment Day is coming next Monday. Repent. Now, hold on. How can I believe you when so many dire prophecies haven't come true? I sealed myself in a shelter twice in the late '60s, hid in the Appalachian Mountains a decade later. A huge bunching of Judgment Day visions in the late '80s led me to simply get a time share in the Colorado mountains … Getting out of town doesn't spare you Judgment Day. I don't think. Lemme double-check the clues in Marmaduke. Mostly I needed an excuse to get away. Th

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

"My next book? It will probably be about rising up and crushing humanity."

"Here we still are, eh? So much for the gloom-and-doom types who warned us against eating all the vegetation."

"Frankly, I don't like the way things are going."

Hiker Followed By Paramedic

Bio-obsolescence

When a nanosecond is forever.

"I had a dream about a huge flaming rock falling from the sky! What do you think it means?"

I figured out how these folks keep guaranteeing the precise day the world ends. Shhh. Keep it down. Why? It's a scam? If you read the read the fine print, they are promising that the world will begin to end that day. Could take forever. It's a no-lose scam … Shhh! What? It's scary when the world might end. There are a lot of people out there who need comforting. Women people, I presume. Women people, I presume. Who take comfort in necking. And you belittle their fears?

"Every time Trump wins a primary, we get one step closer."

There's been lots of unexplained shaking and booming noises in the middle of the night - all over the world. Some thing earth's entered a part of space filled with meteors too big to burn up in our atmosphere. Others think governments are building a network of underground bases to save a select few from a coming apocalypse. A lot of people think the world's about to end, Susan. If it were anyone but you, I'd thinking this was a pickup line. For the first time in my life, all my favorite shows go

'Any history of extinction in your family?'

'Oh, come on -- everything can't be extinct!'

"In the late Cretaceous" "What do you mean, you're here for all of us at once?"