Expression Of Humor Gifts

"You'll like my mate - he's a scream..!"

Madonna of the Pukes.

"Yes, it's oil-paint: It's difficult to find water for watercolours around here..."

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

"It's a swearbox."

It is believed dear Jack finally figured out women. Trouble is, he died laughing before he could tell anybody.

"Only one of us can be 'The Funny One'."

"This city is becoming unlivable."

Sea Horse outside saloon

"We don't have knock-knock jokes on Christmas."

"Of course I love school...but I love no more cafeteria food more."

"Yes, I know that chocolate comes from the cocoa Bean...but that does NOT count as a vegetable!"

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

"Tee hee. . . Turner Prize here I come. . .!"

"Fred, no one is going to bother you here. Put away the Bare Spray."

"The ad was a typo. We're looking for an expert in fingerprinting...not finger painting."

Could I trade in this greyhound for a dachshund? My doctor says I have to slow up.

'What do you mean you're a vegetarian?'

'Do you have any skills other than knowing how to keep a tidy desk?'

'Mum, how come we're always the bad guys in bed-time stories?...'

'What I wouldn't give for some good eczema medication!'

"We'll be well into January before that post-holiday smile fades."

'...And a bottle of Bollinger '61 if you please Fred...'

"The fax machine ate my homework."

"Horse-drawn carriage."

"Incentivize me with a paradigm of mesculin greens and grilled chicken."

"I love bonfires. Thanks to all the junk mail I get, I have one everyday."

'Are you willing to carry a chip on your shoulder.'