Explorer Of The Outrageous Gifts

Tourist sucker hall of fame

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"Congratulations, Amruk. You prove they do exist."

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

The Lost World: You are Here

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

Crab with a clown face.

"Now you can send it."

Mayhem, Inc. Part 15

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

'Incidentally, our health insurance has limited eye coverage.'

Salvador Dali's cats.

Baseball.

UFO and snowman

'Miss Jones, take this down.'

Operation.

"Where should we fly to for our next vacation?"

'Bad as this may look, it's actually the perfect accompaniment with your entree.'

"Apparently he only uses fugitive colours."

Woman goes to Origami Airport.

Salome on Settle (also called Maitresse d'Orchestre) - intended for book but suppressed

"At last! - A text from Godot!!"

Yonder

Minefield! Thank you for treading carefully.

'Ok, now if everyone could just hold still.'

'Nobody special, but rich enough to build this statue of himself.

"Yes, but can your philosophical speculations on existence also be relative to why I crossed the road?"

"Is there any way we could describe this bit of old tart that would make a Russian oligarch pay £2 million for it?"

Trapeze artists commuting

A patient, a doctor and a deep sea diver

'Pardon me. Can you tell me where 9 West 57th is?'

Albert should have known that cactuses rarely have change. Besides, they prefer jazz.

'You're too fussy - the coffee isn't THAT bad!'

'Okay, now I'm hoping he's right...'