Explorer Of The Outrageous Gifts

Tourist sucker hall of fame

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"Congratulations, Amruk. You prove they do exist."

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

Crab with a clown face.

The Lost World: You are Here

"Now you can send it."

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

'Incidentally, our health insurance has limited eye coverage.'

Operation.

'Miss Jones, take this down.'

UFO and snowman

Baseball.

"Where should we fly to for our next vacation?"

Yonder

Woman goes to Origami Airport.

Salome on Settle (also called Maitresse d'Orchestre) - intended for book but suppressed

"At last! - A text from Godot!!"

'Bad as this may look, it's actually the perfect accompaniment with your entree.'

"Apparently he only uses fugitive colours."

Minefield! Thank you for treading carefully.

'Ok, now if everyone could just hold still.'

'Nobody special, but rich enough to build this statue of himself.

Trapeze artists commuting

A patient, a doctor and a deep sea diver

"Is there any way we could describe this bit of old tart that would make a Russian oligarch pay £2 million for it?"

"Yes, but can your philosophical speculations on existence also be relative to why I crossed the road?"

"I was going to call you but I remembered I left some empty oxygen canisters on Mt. Everest."

'You're too fussy - the coffee isn't THAT bad!'

'Pardon me. Can you tell me where 9 West 57th is?'

'Okay, now I'm hoping he's right...'

Albert should have known that cactuses rarely have change. Besides, they prefer jazz.