Experimental Ethicist Gifts

'Bad man. . . you are a Bad Man!'

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

Ethics exam cheater.

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

Squeezing the Free Press.

Others will fight for you

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

Build your very own conflict of interest!

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

Armstrong? Why did UPS just deliver a microscope, a robotic arm, a huge incubator, a nucleus extractor and a dozen lab rats? Well, it's certainly not so I can replace you with an army of clones programmed to work for free. Well

"In a further effort to increase profits, control costs and satisfy shareholders, we've decided to steal stuff."

'Let's agree to dispense with the rules of nomenclature and call it compound X.'

'You won't believe this, but even if the vaccine works, they wont give it to other sick mice.'

'The question is - to what level of data do we wish to stoop.'

The Price of Freedom

"Take special note of the change to our policy on honesty."

"Boss... I just read an article about trans-humanism. Apparently, sometime in the next 50 years, it will become possible to live forever."

"Yeah, the Jekyll and Hyde thing is weird, but if I play it right, I get fed twice."

"Hi, Bob - your consultants have just arrived."

"Moulting"

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

Stoneage business ethics: 'But, hey, this 'ethics' stuff isn't carved in stone!'

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.

'Well, well - this should create a nice little wave of panic and hysteria.'

"Discussion topic: Is our society becoming less civil and more violent?"

'Isn't that a little extreme? - Cloning yourself just so you can use the carpool lane?'

'Think, son! What was that formula you fed that tree?!'

Tragically Moses didn't see the eleventh commandment.

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

'I don't know what all the fuss is about.'

These drug will cost you an arm and a leg...the good news is, my wife and I own stock in the company that makes them.