Expectant Dad Hero Pillows

'From now on give them a double dose of bromide in their tea.'

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

Children in fancy dress on the way to music lessons

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

"You go out first. Signal me if it's safe!!"

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: I need backup...NOW!

JAMES BONDING

"It's a dependent!"

'I'm a work-at-home dad.'

'More toys! The way you kids spend, you must think bananas grow on trees.'

'You want Chinese food? Are you going to have a baby or something?'

'Let me get this clear. You want me to give you paternity leave before the baby is born.'

'It Kicked!' - 'Punt, Drop or Tad?'

"'Routine examination' were the only two words in the doctor's mind when he placed the stethoscope on..."

Welcome to the uterus. Please be seated. Your mother will be with you in nine months.

Push, push, push...

'Mother will catch you!'

"I'm not against having more children, I'd just like to finish with this one first."

"It's different when they're your own."

The (literal) birth of Venus.

"Well, I never! So this is where babies come from!!"

"I mean, he does have a point."

"The good news is that you will have a healthy baby girl. The bad news is that she is a congenital liar."

"Ironically, this all started with a little poke on Facebook."

"The midwife was busy, so we called in the mid-husband."

'I guess I wasn't thinking. I bought a return ticket.'

She Had Enough To Drink.

'Sometimes I think you'll be sorry when the baby gets here.'

"I like it; but let's make sure we can get the domain name first."

'I'm about to throw a tantrum. What are you doing?'