Expectant Dad Hero Gifts

'From now on give them a double dose of bromide in their tea.'

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

Children in fancy dress on the way to music lessons

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

"You go out first. Signal me if it's safe!!"

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

JAMES BONDING

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: I need backup...NOW!

"It's a dependent!"

'I'm a work-at-home dad.'

'You want Chinese food? Are you going to have a baby or something?'

'More toys! The way you kids spend, you must think bananas grow on trees.'

'Let me get this clear. You want me to give you paternity leave before the baby is born.'

'It Kicked!' - 'Punt, Drop or Tad?'

"'Routine examination' were the only two words in the doctor's mind when he placed the stethoscope on..."

Welcome to the uterus. Please be seated. Your mother will be with you in nine months.

"I mean, he does have a point."

The (literal) birth of Venus.

'Mother will catch you!'

"It's different when they're your own."

"I'm not against having more children, I'd just like to finish with this one first."

"The good news is that you will have a healthy baby girl. The bad news is that she is a congenital liar."

"I like it; but let's make sure we can get the domain name first."

'Sometimes I think you'll be sorry when the baby gets here.'

'I guess I wasn't thinking. I bought a return ticket.'

She Had Enough To Drink.

"The midwife was busy, so we called in the mid-husband."

'I'm about to throw a tantrum. What are you doing?'

Maternity doctor with a plunger