New Dad Hero Pillows

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: I need backup...NOW!

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

Batman at the Maternity Ward

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

"I hoped you'd change your hobby when you became a father"

Doughboy Dad

"I don't know...sometimes I think I don't spend enough time with them. What kind of role model am I?"

"That's mine!"

'We found you in a cabbage!'

"It's a boy, ... and two girls, then another boy, another girl, and there more boys."

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

"Please doctor, hit him again. I need to get that ring-tone."

'Oh, don't mind Jeff. It's just his turn to change the Baby's nappy.'

'You've got the Vietnam 1000 yard stare. All new parents get it!'

"Travelling with Child Sketchbook - day 2."

'Congratulations! You're the proud father of three healthy, bouncing tax deductions!'

"Which one's yours?"

Skateboard

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

"Which one's mine?"

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

"Which one's yours?"

JAMES BONDING

"It's a dependent!"

'I'm a work-at-home dad.'

"Anything interesting happen over the weekend, Frank?"

Kids really do make you view the world from a different perspective...I'm on the floor, behind the couch, under the bed...

'More toys! The way you kids spend, you must think bananas grow on trees.'

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

"The main skill you need in parenting, is the ability to surreptitiously eat chocolate."

"Please let go of Daddy's chest hair."