Exotic Locations Gifts

'You don't know how grateful I am to have someone to talk to.'

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

The Stripper

Travel Agency: Pacific time cures all ills.

'I would kill for a truffle.'

'It appears to be some sort of tropical disease.'

Working Holiday.

"Don't worry - you've got to expect a few midge bites on holiday..."

"This patient must be really rich! He brought back the most extravagant illnesses from exotic holiday spots."

'Maybe I'll try the seafood.'

"I wrote this song for Catalina, the woman who's taught me almost everything..."

Alternative Airport

Dog urinating against a table dancer's pole.

'WOOHOOO! Yeah BABY, yeah!' (at a zebra strip show)

A sheep shearing herself on stage - A sheep strip show

'The Tropic Resort gives you a choice, Madam, geckos or big, hairy spiders...'

"Hmmm, mountain oysters! Nutty flavor, with a hint of mutton!"

'Check this out Henry, the stripper has arrived.'

"A stripper in Ohio claims her privacy was violated when a patron took a picture of her while she was performing, thus invoking her Constitutional right to irony."

Pole Dancing Every Night: 'It's one of the perks of being a weights and measures inspector.'

"At least I won't have to jump out of these silly things for a living any more."

"Sure her act is legal in a nightclub - but she was doing it in the street."

Love Island

'Well, it's an easy job, but I should warn you: The boss is quite the charmer...'

"Whatever happens, Jenkins, you'll always have your dancing to fall back on."

'This is just the warm up.'

Birds of the Pantanal

'The Tropics Resort gives you a choice, Madam, geckos or big, hairy spiders...'

'I know you like adventure holidays, but when did you say these islands were discovered.'

"She should be good. The capital 'L' shows an extroverted and outgoing personality, the wide 'O' indicates a warm nature, the second 'L' is lively..."

Egalitarianism in India

"Call me old fashioned, but I preferred this place before it went all 'equal-opportunity employer'."