Exotic Locations Gifts

'You don't know how grateful I am to have someone to talk to.'

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

The Stripper

'I would kill for a truffle.'

Travel Agency: Pacific time cures all ills.

'It appears to be some sort of tropical disease.'

"Don't worry - you've got to expect a few midge bites on holiday..."

Working Holiday.

'Maybe I'll try the seafood.'

"This patient must be really rich! He brought back the most extravagant illnesses from exotic holiday spots."

Randy – you're a male stripper! Senor Stud, ma'am. Don't be a dope. I know it's you. You have me confused with someone else. So this is how you make your money. Does Rudy know? Rudy? I do find the dumb act very sexy. Senor Stud is a Ph.D. In love.

Ladies, welcome to Palais des Beefcakes. Please observe our rules. NO making lewd propositions to our performers and absolutely no touching. No touching. Let's me and you honeymoon.

"I wrote this song for Catalina, the woman who's taught me almost everything..."

Alternative Airport

Dog urinating against a table dancer's pole.

A sheep shearing herself on stage - A sheep strip show

'WOOHOOO! Yeah BABY, yeah!' (at a zebra strip show)

Love Island

"At least I won't have to jump out of these silly things for a living any more."

"Hmmm, mountain oysters! Nutty flavor, with a hint of mutton!"

'Check this out Henry, the stripper has arrived.'

Pole Dancing Every Night: 'It's one of the perks of being a weights and measures inspector.'

'The Tropic Resort gives you a choice, Madam, geckos or big, hairy spiders...'

"Sure her act is legal in a nightclub - but she was doing it in the street."

'Well, it's an easy job, but I should warn you: The boss is quite the charmer...'

"A stripper in Ohio claims her privacy was violated when a patron took a picture of her while she was performing, thus invoking her Constitutional right to irony."

"Whatever happens, Jenkins, you'll always have your dancing to fall back on."

'This is just the warm up.'

'The Tropics Resort gives you a choice, Madam, geckos or big, hairy spiders...'

Birds of the Pantanal

'I know you like adventure holidays, but when did you say these islands were discovered.'

"...and if you can't get gochujang, ketchup will do."

"I can count on one hand the number of times I've been to Chernobyl."

"She should be good. The capital 'L' shows an extroverted and outgoing personality, the wide 'O' indicates a warm nature, the second 'L' is lively..."