Exotic Travels Gifts

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

"Don't blame me, you're the one who suggested an island-hopping holiday!"

'The problem with migrating is that the roaming charges for my mobile phone are enormous...'

"We've got a problem."

Snake Charming

Travel Agency: Pacific time cures all ills.

'It appears to be some sort of tropical disease.'

"This patient must be really rich! He brought back the most extravagant illnesses from exotic holiday spots."

Awaiting the sensation of a short sharp shock

"Don't worry - you've got to expect a few midge bites on holiday..."

'Maybe I'll try the seafood.'

City travel: 'Steve is our eco-tourism specialist.'

Swearing and fighting in a caravan

Vatican Car Park - Staff Parking Only

'My travel app has some amazing photos...'

Alternative Airport

'I keep wondering what they're saying about us at the bank this cold,damp,Monday morning..'

Couples Riding an Elephant

'The Tropic Resort gives you a choice, Madam, geckos or big, hairy spiders...'

City travel agency: 'Send me somewhere with women who appriciate a real man!'

Birds of the Pantanal

'The Tropics Resort gives you a choice, Madam, geckos or big, hairy spiders...'

'I know you like adventure holidays, but when did you say these islands were discovered.'

Egalitarianism in India

'Not so fast, Louie -- this may be a trap...'

'You don't know how grateful I am to have someone to talk to.'

'Dysentery or non-dysentery section?'

"We'd like 5 star accommodation but with some interesting poverty nearby."

'You may find the mosquitos around here a little tiresome.'

'-but for a full ENGLISH breakfast you can't beat Blackpool, sir!'

The Fruit Bearers - For Beardsley's Story 'Under the Hill'

Botany week in Brazil

Travel: 'Paris special. But 2 weeks in Paris France, get 3 days/ 2 nights free in Paris Texas'

'I can take some of the swing out of your portfolio.'