Exotic Beauty Seeker T-Shirts

"If we move to Europe, we'll be seen as "exotic": we'll get lots of dates!"

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

"Okay, you can keep 'em, but if they grow any bigger, they'll have to sleep in the kitchen."

"Botox."

"I can Botox it, but I don’t want to freeze up my sixth chakra."

Hyenas as Pets

She. 'Isn't it a pretty view?' Susceptible Youth. 'Awfully pretty, by Jove!'

"This patient must be really rich! He brought back the most extravagant illnesses from exotic holiday spots."

"She doesn't eat raw zebra... Where can we get Alaska wild salmon in cream truffle sauce in the middle of Africa?"

Analysis of Beauty - Plate I.

The Ugly Plant

'Mirror mirror on the wall who's the fairest one of all considering her age?'

"You've taken those hideous curlers out, had a scrub up, shaved your legs. Looks like it's your lucky night babe."

Castaway with a tennis court.

"Ready now, Miss Henderson."

Landscape artist

"I told you she'd had some work done."

Primavera (Spring)

"I'll bet you'd like me if I had curly hair."

'Sure, I can make you look like Venus de Milo, but it will take two amputations!'

Cosmetic surgeon tells Ugly Duckling: 'Of course, there's a POSSIBILITY that you are a swan, but do you want to take that risk?'

"I'm old. What's good for that?"

"Supersize me."

Flo didn't know what was odder: the beauty tip that hemorrhoid cream reduces bags under the eyes or that she actually tried this beauty tip.

"It says here that they have chopped down all the palm trees and blow up the rocks to make the place look more natural..."

'Perfect.'

'Morag darlin', they've made you look like a hundred dollars!'

'They had a special at the tan salon today-- buy a full body spray tan, get a free air-brushed wizard painting!'

"Sorry mate - I can't come to the pub after the match because I've got to embarrass myself filming an advert for moisturiser."

'Plastic Surgery, come as you are and leave as you wish'

Fish Pedicure

Caribou With Big Plans.

Beauty Salon - "I'm just sorry we couldn't do more for you."

"I get my looks from my father...he's a plastic surgeon."

'So there I was thinking I was in lipo-sculpture, when really it was Colonic irrigation...anal vapour-blasting more like it'