Exotic Beauty Seeker T-Shirts

"If we move to Europe, we'll be seen as "exotic": we'll get lots of dates!"

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

"Botox."

Hyenas as Pets

"I can Botox it, but I don’t want to freeze up my sixth chakra."

She. 'Isn't it a pretty view?' Susceptible Youth. 'Awfully pretty, by Jove!'

"This patient must be really rich! He brought back the most extravagant illnesses from exotic holiday spots."

"She doesn't eat raw zebra... Where can we get Alaska wild salmon in cream truffle sauce in the middle of Africa?"

Analysis of Beauty - Plate I.

"You've taken those hideous curlers out, had a scrub up, shaved your legs. Looks like it's your lucky night babe."

The Ugly Plant

'Mirror mirror on the wall who's the fairest one of all considering her age?'

Castaway with a tennis court.

"Ready now, Miss Henderson."

Landscape artist

'Sure, I can make you look like Venus de Milo, but it will take two amputations!'

"I'll bet you'd like me if I had curly hair."

Primavera (Spring)

"I told you she'd had some work done."

Cosmetic surgeon tells Ugly Duckling: 'Of course, there's a POSSIBILITY that you are a swan, but do you want to take that risk?'

"I'm old. What's good for that?"

Flo didn't know what was odder: the beauty tip that hemorrhoid cream reduces bags under the eyes or that she actually tried this beauty tip.

'Morag darlin', they've made you look like a hundred dollars!'

"Supersize me."

"Sorry mate - I can't come to the pub after the match because I've got to embarrass myself filming an advert for moisturiser."

'Perfect.'

"It says here that they have chopped down all the palm trees and blow up the rocks to make the place look more natural..."

'They had a special at the tan salon today-- buy a full body spray tan, get a free air-brushed wizard painting!'

'Plastic Surgery, come as you are and leave as you wish'

Fish Pedicure

Beauty Salon - "I'm just sorry we couldn't do more for you."

"I get my looks from my father...he's a plastic surgeon."

Caribou With Big Plans.

'So there I was thinking I was in lipo-sculpture, when really it was Colonic irrigation...anal vapour-blasting more like it'

"I'm sorry we don't restore antiques."