Unexpected Beauty Seeker T-Shirts

"But if they're banned, where will I find poetry in the unexpected?"

'When you said this movie's about a fish out of water, I was expecting more of a light-hearted comedy.'

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

"Outré or simply bad?"

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

"Botox."

"I can Botox it, but I don’t want to freeze up my sixth chakra."

She. 'Isn't it a pretty view?' Susceptible Youth. 'Awfully pretty, by Jove!'

"Woah - random!"

Analysis of Beauty - Plate I.

'The old one fell apart.'

The Ugly Plant

"You've taken those hideous curlers out, had a scrub up, shaved your legs. Looks like it's your lucky night babe."

'Mirror mirror on the wall who's the fairest one of all considering her age?'

Landscape artist

"No window, but on the plus side there's a gateway to another dimension behind the Lloveras print."

'It's so ironic: I finally win a prize at a raffle and it has to be a free pedicure!'

'It's the least I can do. I don't have enough money to get cloned.'

"I told you she'd had some work done."

Primavera (Spring)

"I'll bet you'd like me if I had curly hair."

"Ready now, Miss Henderson."

Man reading letter, 'You may already be a winner' about to step on rake.

Cosmetic surgeon tells Ugly Duckling: 'Of course, there's a POSSIBILITY that you are a swan, but do you want to take that risk?'

"I'm old. What's good for that?"

The power of positive affirmations

Flo didn't know what was odder: the beauty tip that hemorrhoid cream reduces bags under the eyes or that she actually tried this beauty tip.

"It says here that they have chopped down all the palm trees and blow up the rocks to make the place look more natural..."

"Supersize me."

"Sorry mate - I can't come to the pub after the match because I've got to embarrass myself filming an advert for moisturiser."

'Morag darlin', they've made you look like a hundred dollars!'

'Plastic Surgery, come as you are and leave as you wish'

Fish Pedicure

Beauty Salon - "I'm just sorry we couldn't do more for you."

Caribou With Big Plans.