Bizarre Beauty Chaser T-Shirts

"Outré or simply bad?"

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

Could you see anything in her? I certainly couldn't! (Man's eyes are popping out of his head).

Devil's Tower Park. Ernie, this nice ranger has offered to show us the basement gift shop.

"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

"Botox."

"I can Botox it, but I don’t want to freeze up my sixth chakra."

"Now how did she know?"

She. 'Isn't it a pretty view?' Susceptible Youth. 'Awfully pretty, by Jove!'

Skinhead guppy.

"I've looked at their viewer profiles and if we watch this channel we'll be 20 years younger."

Analysis of Beauty - Plate I.

"Getting a Brazilian has been nothing like I expected."

"This will make the man in your life wonder where you went."

Veni, Vidi, Vici, Mani, Pedi.

'Mirror mirror on the wall who's the fairest one of all considering her age?'

"You've taken those hideous curlers out, had a scrub up, shaved your legs. Looks like it's your lucky night babe."

"I told you she'd had some work done."

Primavera (Spring)

'He went that way, officer!'

"I'll bet you'd like me if I had curly hair."

'It's the least I can do. I don't have enough money to get cloned.'

"Ready now, Miss Henderson."

Idealized portrait of a rooster.

Cosmetic surgeon tells Ugly Duckling: 'Of course, there's a POSSIBILITY that you are a swan, but do you want to take that risk?'

"I'm old. What's good for that?"

Unnecessary Surgery

'They had a special at the tan salon today-- buy a full body spray tan, get a free air-brushed wizard painting!'

"Welcome to my youtube channel, today I will show you how to photoshop your body so it looks just like mine..."

"I'm on Fendi and Prada, and heading toward Louis."

'Morag darlin', they've made you look like a hundred dollars!'

"Supersize me."

"Sorry mate - I can't come to the pub after the match because I've got to embarrass myself filming an advert for moisturiser."

What's this about? The recession is devastating chain stores. Save our mall. They're the lifeblood of teen culture as we know it. What are your solutions? We're having a massive shop-in this Saturday! Shop 'til you drop. Big $$. Like a day of service? Exactly! But you'll feel even better about yourself.