Exercise Junkie Gifts

Running with scissors

Apocalliptical

'If you had a tapeworm, would you keep it?'

'I'll have a two mile run, 150 sit ups and a side of weight training.'

'You're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

Health

"How long? I stop when I start to smell like bacon."

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

'My feet are killing me.'

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Overjumpers

"This feels like an accomplishment."

On the back of the t-shirt...

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

A man is living in small box apartment trying to read a book, but is surrounded by people engaging in noisy activities.

A tortoise running along the side of the road, panting.

Biceps, muscles and brawn

"Only three more miles and tonight we're good for tiramisu!"

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

"It seemed like miles to me!"

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

Exercise Class

'You need to stay away from the pie in the sky.'

Running

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

'If you exercise you add 10 years to your life.' - 'But I would spend the 10 years exercising.'

'His workout regimen consists of 50 sit-downs every day.'

"And then on ab day they roll on their backs, flail, and mimic us in the throes of death."