Exercise Debunker Gifts

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

'Gathering dust isn't dangerous in itself, but it's a sign of lack of exercise.'

And this model comes with a fitness tracker.

'The only exercise I believe in is the exercise of power.'

"Fit watch say me need more steps."

'Why are jogging on the spot?'

"Professor Williams had at first been reluctant to join the Assistant Deans in their Think Great Thoughts aerobics. He later came to enjoy the activity."

Jeff was watching his weight.

5. Install all equipment carefully. 6. Never increase the weight load of any exercise machine when you are by yourself.

"Remember me? I'm your running shoes. Remember what running is?"

'Can I have a refund if she puts the weight back on.'

"I didn't miss my workout...I didn't miss it one bit!"

"So all these years you never did yoga but just walked around carrying the mat?"

Exercise Car.

"He said, 'Won't you guide my sleigh tonight?' I thought that meant steer."

'Flipping the remote and clicking the mouse are his low-impact aerobics.'

"We daren't go in there at our age. We'd probably end up with slipped discos!"

"MMPHH. . . I said I don't think I'm built for yoga!"

Maude's yoga classes were beginning to pay off.

"I think that form '10,000' steps may have been 9,999 too many!"

"Exercise?...What you need is more napping!"

'Well at least we got him off the sofa.'

''Buy low, sell high' is not considered an aerobic activity.'

Weight Loss Clinic: 100% guaranteed.

'He's started jogging to work.'

"Your compulsive talk about crazy diets, get rich schemes, and mail order drugs -- your pacemaker's been hacked and you're spamming."

'if your wife ever asks you to meet her at Pilates...don't! It's not a pizzeria.'

'I'm very active. I'm always jumping to conclusions, stretching the truth, skipping lunch, and jogging my memory. With all that jumping, stretching, skipping and jogging, I still can't lose weight.'

An overweight lazy man chooses to exercise on a motorbike at a gym.

"My New Year's resolution is to get fit and watch more TV."