Executive Bonus Enthusiasts Gifts

'Does my bonus look big in this?'

"Stock options for your thoughts."

'Ladies and gents, the executive-worker pay ratio is not what it used to be!'

"If CEO pay packets aren't a problem, why doesn't everyone get one?"

'Guess who made a bushel today?'

"Profits. Good thing or the greatest thing?"

"Four hours study and the poor love still can't decide which luxury saloon to buy for himself."

'It's a demonstration by retired CEOs who refuse to give up their bonuses.'

'Guess who made a bushel today?'

"Executive shoeshine and bald head buff, sir?"

'I take it his performance review went well.'

'I'll have a big bonus please.'

'Call me a cockeyed optimist but I still believe big executive bonuses and perks can buy happiness.'

"It's one of the positive side effects of the new weight-loss drugs."

We don't think your 12 million dollar bonus is obscene. We think it's 12 million little ways to say 'I love you.'

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

'Another corporation I wouldn't have minded so much, but this was a hostile takeover by my secretary!'

'You're addicted to big bonuses. But the good news is there's a patch to treat that.'

'We're with you half way, sir. We'll return our government bailout if we can keep our executive bonuses.'

'We're a paperless office - except for executive bonuses.'

'Surround our project with lots of useless extras so our critics have something to pick at while we ram our proposals through.'

'We've ended up paying our 'golden hellos', golden 'return from holidays' and Prickman wanted a golden 'thank you' after coming back from a toilet break!'

'Getting a big bonus to risk other people's money makes me wonder if I am part of a conspiracy.'

You wanted to see me again, boss? Yes. I realized you never gave me my Christmas bonus. What're you talking about? You're the boss. You give me a bonus, I don't give you a bonus. Exactly. The key word in employer-employee relationship is relationship. One-sided relationships never work, Rudy. I've calculated the amount you would have paid me if you hadn't been taking me for granted for 16 years. Very bad man.

"I'm not sure you're taking this bonus cap thing seriously."

'This new ruling on bankers pay has really thrown the cat among the pigeons...'

He must have given Johnson a rise - he just did a back-flip.

Will work for humongous bonus.

The Evolution of the Bonus

"I've got a lot on my plate right now. For starters, I need to sharpen my pencil, refill my coffee and get a new comb."

'But RG, you can't be a big fish in all the big ponds...you can only be a big fish in your big pond.'

'In this business you can't motivate top staff with huge salaries. It's the bonuses and share options that really count.'

45% of my bonus goes to taxes.

"We need to put more money into Lithuanian sardine futures...I think that warrants bonuses all around!

"Yes, I AM laughing my way to the bank. How did you guess?"