Executive Enthusiast Gifts

'Ladies and gents, the executive-worker pay ratio is not what it used to be!'

"Profits. Good thing or the greatest thing?"

"Stock options for your thoughts."

'Another corporation I wouldn't have minded so much, but this was a hostile takeover by my secretary!'

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

'Not exactly what I meant by job creation.'

"If CEO pay packets aren't a problem, why doesn't everyone get one?"

'I'm interested in your job opening, so I'll have my agent give you a ring!'

Subordinate Employee

The little engine that delegated

Leadership Training

"No need to remind me. I'm well aware that I've forgotten completely about you."

"It drives me MAD when people whine about the amount top management get paid. . ."

"You're an overweight, overpaid, over-the-hill senior executive, Dalrymple. What did you have in mind to remedy that situation?"

Growing a business....

Big desks take time.

'It's important that I see eye-to-eye with any consultants we bring in.'

"Employee satisfaction is of utmost importance and I'm not leaving this chair till you are satisfied."

Maps to all the corporate trap doors for sale here!

A businessman sits with an executive toy of smokestacks.

Company Structure - Boss and his yes men.

"This is Bernard, our new management consultant. He is going to be responsible for draining the lifeblood out of staff in a relentless attempt to reach increasingly unachievable and meaningless targets."

What is the difference between a boss and a leader?

I Have A Closed Mind.

'Newgate, you'll be reporting to Cunningham, who'll be reporting directly to me. I, in one of those unexplainable paradoxes of the business world will be reporting to you,'

'Gosh, who'd have guessed that when I said I'd have my people call your people, they'd come up with something like THIS?'

'You're not always right you know.'

'So, she's decided to buy the helicopter.'

'Surround our project with lots of useless extras so our critics have something to pick at while we ram our proposals through.'

"You're welcome to follow me, but no drafting."

"Patel confirmed"

"Sorry, that was the three cups of coffee, four cans of red bull, and double dose of Paxil talking."

Dealmobile.

"I've got a lot on my plate right now. For starters, I need to sharpen my pencil, refill my coffee and get a new comb."

'The firm provides every new executive with a personal trainer.'