Corporate Bonus Season Gifts

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

'The sunglasses idea would have worked if you hadn't started snoring.'

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

'Thanks to the huge bonus, I find myself forced to admire you.'

'We believe in using performance-enhancing drugs here.. they're called bonuses.'

"We value your input, but all your suggestions involve more play-time, naps and treats."

'I'm a bit pressed for time. Give me your one-minute elevator pitch.'

'I was hoping for a better bonus this year.'

'I've collected my memos into one reasonably priced gift book.'

Okay, start shouting them in for their annual bonuses.

'Guess who made a bushel today?'

'Looks like no cash bonus this year.'

'The only exercise I believe in is the exercise of power.'

"Anderson, we'd like to talk to you about your stand-offish attitude.'

'I'll have a big bonus please.'

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"No, I'm following you"

'When it comes to giving a bonus...some people will stop at nothing.'

"If you get the page 'intentionally left blank', you're fired."

'We're a paperless office - except for executive bonuses.'

'I want a bigger piece of the pie.'

"It's come to my attention that one of you hasn't taken advantage of the company's free gym membership."

"The office staff hired him to cheer me up. It's the day they get their annual bonuses."

"You've hit your goals so well that I wanted to bring by your Christmas bonus."

'This new ruling on bankers pay has really thrown the cat among the pigeons...'

It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller. I got a bonus for the first time in years. Would it be selfish to spend it on myself instead of on Christmas gifts? The age-old question: Do I enjoy the fruits of my labor or give them to the losers and ingrates who did absolutely nothing to earn them? Fly yourself to Maui and send them a photo of you eating a seven-course meal. That'll encourage them to work harder and earn their own bonuses. Encouragement is the best gift you can give. I really love your show,

The Evolution of the Bonus

'They called it 'outsourcing'.'

'It must be bonus-time again.'

"Yes, I AM laughing my way to the bank. How did you guess?"

'To be honest, I did expect a better bonus this year.'

'Then it's agreed - We won't let the fact that we're overpaid interfere with our bonuses.'

"Wilson! Stop bogarting he bonuses and share the wealth!"

So... you got a big ass bonus... Now what?

"I'm keeping my large bonus under the bed because it's the safest place. I only risk other people's money."