End Of Year Bonus Season Gifts

The Evolution of the Bonus

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

'Thanks to the huge bonus, I find myself forced to admire you.'

"Our new information management system has just worked out where we wasted most money last year. . . It was on the new information management system."

'We believe in using performance-enhancing drugs here.. they're called bonuses.'

Plan 'A', Plan 'B' - "I say we should go with plan 'A', sir."

"How is the budget forecast looking?"

"My boss had security escort me out of the office today. I'm worried this means I won't be getting a bonus."

Smiling businessman with rising profits

Okay, start shouting them in for their annual bonuses.

Football team discussions.

'Like it? I LOVED it! The narrative gripped me from the first sentence and didn't let go until the final, heart-stopping page! And the CHARACTERS! Without question, Harris, this is the finest year-end financial report you've ever written!'

Forms I cannot deal with / Forms I will not deal with

'Guess who made a bushel today?'

"Sorry, you can't cash in your vacation time. Since you didn't use it, tell it Bon Voyage!"

"Just our luck. We finally see the 'feel good' movie of the year and it's December."

'I got a big refund on my income tax.'

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

The pop-culture critic's annual existential crisis."

'Looks like no cash bonus this year.'

'I'll have a big bonus please.'

Look at it this way, you didn't have to pay all that money in tax, you'd go out and spend it anyway!

'I've got my wallet here in the left inside pocket. Now I got a bonus and bought a bigger wallet which needs more space. Would you please remove my heart?'

"And while violations of our ethical code were up sharply this year, I think it's important to remember that last year we were amazingly ethical."

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

Old year sits by 'Out' box, and new year sits by 'In' box in office.

"I have been inputting garbage into my systems for 12 months, why is this spend analysis GARBAGE?!"

Tax relief

'About this obscene material found in your desk.'

"Another successful year!"

"Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it. So let's all do our best to forget how great last year's revenues were."