Execution Escapade Gifts

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

'I said you're next, Hibblemeyer. . . Hibblemeyer!'

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

A rare picture of Henry VIII's divorce lawyer.

"We have a favor to ask."

'You might want to try another photographer, Sire. This one tends to cut the heads off.'

'Mind if I head off a little early today?'

"Guess who's going to be on national television apologizing to the American public."

William Tell Executions.

"No need to give me credit . . . I'll just take it."

Happy Birthday to you... Thanks guys!

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

"On the plus side, you're on the cover of all the major business publications."

'Of course the swing is important, just don't allow it to pull focus from the neck.'

'Who ordered the chef's head?'

STRIP "Looks like the escalators on the blink again"

"Look, you took a huge fashion risk and it just didn't work out for you."

Divers attache BITE ME sign to companion's oxygen tanks.

"What about the writers? Nobody ever blames the writers!"

'My work clothes are at the cleaner's, so I had to borrow my kid's hoodie.'

'I had hoped for some great farewell jokes!'

"One final question... how did you hear about us/"

Congratulations you are the 10,000.

"Gee—it's just like in the movies!"

'If I hear one more person say 'Just a little of the top' I'm going to lose it!'

'Henry, I wish you weren't so cheap and would hire a divorce lawyer.'

"We need 6 last meals over at table 9."

"Heads or entrails?"

"Try some improv, they said. The king will it, they said!"

'I don't suppose an apology would suffice?'

'Governor's Pardon is on the way, Bob. Hang in there.'

'We're going to have to cut back a little this year ....'

"Work's been really hard."