Crime Escapades Gifts

'Excuse me, have you got a coat hanger? I'm locked out of my car.'

'He licked all my tongue depressors.'

Ponzi-Mat Vending Machine

Police man stands guard at a murder scene in Egyptology department of a museum.

"On the plus side, you're on the cover of all the major business publications."

"Well, obviously the victim had a French enemy."

"Do you actually trust that thing?"

"No need to give me credit . . . I'll just take it."

"Guess who's going to be on national television apologizing to the American public."

"Well, the first reactions to the terrible truth are anger and sadness, but now it's time to act like men!"

'I don't know about you, but I could do with a break.'

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

"The DNA does not lie Mrs Miggins...or should I call you Don Escobar Bolivian drugs czar?"

"I was in corporate sales for years but then I realized, I'm a gatherer not a hunter."

'Our drug cartel would like to help Lambeth Council fight the cuts, respecting criteria of inclusion and diversity.'

'I don't know officer: They all look alike to me...'

"The suspect is roughly 55 feet tall and quite possibly green."

'Well, occasionally it is good to see team members outside the office.'

"Wait—before we go any further, I'm beginning to have serious doubts about the wheelman."

Chicken CSI.

Boy balancing a baby on his feet

"Since interest rates are low, I'd like to refinance my bankruptcy."

'It's a smart bailiff who finds us here!'

'Yes, I called you. I've broken a finger nail!'

"The cops were on to him"

'What? -- you were picked up for reckless driving by the Coast Guard?'

The letter was captivating – mind you, by nature, most ransom notes are.

"I took the money and ran, but unfortunately, not fast enough."

"Are you sure this is what the man who attacked you looked like?"

'Not you again. I thought you would've learned your lesson the last time.

'You've got to admit, it's an effective witness protection program!'

Foam Fingers

"I told you it would work."

'I'm sorry for being fresh. It's what I do.'