Speeding Escapades Gifts

"The cops were on to him"

Rock Climber

"Not tonight. The furniture is sentient again."

"I'm starting slowly with a trainer who just stands around talking about his personal life."

Ponzi-Mat Vending Machine

Nanny with children on leash

"Do you actually trust that thing?"

'I'm going to love having me in Haiti.'

'Know any other bed-time tricks?'

'Two please-and I mean TWO boats!'

'I don't know about you, but I could do with a break.'

Hose and Flower in Perfect Harmony.

"Loved our evening, Lou. Thanks for being rich."

Six arms, no waiting.

STRIP "Looks like the escalators on the blink again"

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

"Have you got any after ten tours for people who never get up before eight-thirty?"

It had been a good life, filled with passion and joy, tender bonds, and finally one irretrievable error.

I need a Valentine card that proclaims undying love but doesn't commit me to anything.

Gas eyedropper.

'Let's go somewhere where I can be alone.'

"I dreamt I was on a desert island with seven starving women."

Fourplay.

"You're not much of a romantic, are you?"

'Not now, Lord!'

"Gee, I'm sorry this had to happen on our first date!"

'...How could your wife possibly know we're in Venice?'

"If my dad asks where we met just say 'on holiday'."

'I found it in the Khama Sutra...it's an old indian bondage trick.'

'It was so romantic. The sun, the sea, the mud.'

'Why not put it in position first then fill it with water?'

Spiro & Pusho and the large fish.

"You should have told me you needed advice."

Non-smoking. Do you have a footsies section and a non-footsies section?

"Isn't it great that even with our busy schedules we still make the time to just be together and talk about everything else we should bet getting done?"