Executioner Gifts

"And with 10 being the highest, you're sure you're only at a 6?"

'Why don't we call ourselves chiropractors and charge people for our services?'

'Mind filling out this evaluation form first?'

'Don't think of it as a problem ??" think of it as an opportunity.'

'Well, yes, I suppose you could appeal. However, if you lost, you'd be responsible for all court costs.'

The origin of the phrase 'staff cuts'.

'Could you put the rope round my waist - I've got a boil on my neck!'

'Hey, sometimes change is a GOOD thing!'

'Sorry dear, but I had to bring some work home!'

"What about the writers? Nobody ever blames the writers!"

"I'm just the anesthesiologist."

"There he goes – my great white whale."

"I wish you'd get into the spirit of this thing, Brewster!"

'Hold it! Just one more... stop me of you've heard this one...'

Failed execution.

'You make me want to be a better person.'

Hangman School Graduation.

'Help me catch him, he faints at the sight of blood.'

'Stupid lethal injections!'

'You're right, there wasn't much blood getting to his head.'

'Mind if I head off a little early today?'

"How satisfied are you with the service you have received today? Very satisfied, satisfied, neutral ..."

'Don't worry, this will do the trick!'

'I'm afraid you're out of compliance with the kingdom's new 'maximum height' requirements....'

'Don't worry -- he's a trained professional.'

'Sorry, dear, but we knew this job was dangerous when we took it.'

A rare picture of Henry VIII's divorce lawyer.

The Hangman's Bane: 'Is there a problem?'

'Suddenly, I feel quite vulnerable.'

"By the way, I know a funny version of that joke."

'Ah! At last I've found my glasses.'

"We have a favor to ask."

"Work really piled up while I was gone."

"Hell man, what whacko orders chips for their last meal?"

"Look, the crowd loves it! I told you the bungee cord would be a BIg Hit!"