Executioner Gifts

"And with 10 being the highest, you're sure you're only at a 6?"

'Why don't we call ourselves chiropractors and charge people for our services?'

'Before you're released, would you mind taking our exit survey?'

'Mind filling out this evaluation form first?'

'Don't think of it as a problem ??" think of it as an opportunity.'

'Well, yes, I suppose you could appeal. However, if you lost, you'd be responsible for all court costs.'

'Hey, sometimes change is a GOOD thing!'

'Could you put the rope round my waist - I've got a boil on my neck!'

The origin of the phrase 'staff cuts'.

'Sorry dear, but I had to bring some work home!'

'Suddenly, I feel quite vulnerable.'

'Ah! At last I've found my glasses.'

'Don't worry, this will do the trick!'

'Hold it! Just one more... stop me of you've heard this one...'

A rare picture of Henry VIII's divorce lawyer.

The Hangman's Bane: 'Is there a problem?'

'You make me want to be a better person.'

Hangman School Graduation.

'Stupid lethal injections!'

'I'm afraid you're out of compliance with the kingdom's new 'maximum height' requirements....'

"I'm just the anesthesiologist."

"There he goes – my great white whale."

Failed execution.

"I wish you'd get into the spirit of this thing, Brewster!"

'Mind if I head off a little early today?'

"By the way, I know a funny version of that joke."

'Sorry, dear, but we knew this job was dangerous when we took it.'

'You're right, there wasn't much blood getting to his head.'

'Help me catch him, he faints at the sight of blood.'

"How satisfied are you with the service you have received today? Very satisfied, satisfied, neutral ..."

'Don't worry -- he's a trained professional.'

'Any last requests?'

"What about the writers? Nobody ever blames the writers!"

"Hell man, what whacko orders chips for their last meal?"

'Stupid lethal injections!'