Public Executioner Gifts

'Gee! Who is he and what did he do?'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

"We seem to be spending more on defence than on things to defend"

"Who's got the hammer?"

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

social services cuts

"There's no need for your kitty to be envious. After state and federal taxes and legal administrative fees, Chessy's share of Aunt Martha's estate came to hardly anything."

A rare picture of Henry VIII's divorce lawyer.

Benefit mistakes cost one billion a year. Well in our defence we did get a lot of the numbers correct,they just weren't in the right order.

'You might want to try another photographer, Sire. This one tends to cut the heads off.'

"We have a favor to ask."

'Oh no...I'm living the dream.'

"We've been campaigning for years to encourage central government to delegate more powers to local authorities..."

"It's come to my attention that our sister city has been borrowing our city's clothes without even asking."

'Mind if I head off a little early today?'

They Always Say That

'It's the slump - looks like he's about to evolve it into a double-dip!'

Happy Birthday to you... Thanks guys!

"My client will not answer that question as it presupposes his sanity."

William Tell Executions.

'You have the right to remain silent and to the counsel of a motivational speaker.'

Federal Agency to Eliminate Agencies

Federal Departument of Edutainment.

'It drives me crazy when people whine about the collapse of the system!'

'I've been charged with evading jury duty.'

'The trouble with electing a man on horseback is that somebody has to clean up after him.'

Budget cuts were beginning to bite at the local council

'If you're a public servant, what does that make ME?'

'The Senator's afraid he's irked his base. I don't know if he needs political advice or medical attention.'

"The genius of the justice system for us is that everyone has the right to a lawyer."

'A bit of shush please, I'm about to write them a damn stiff memo!'

'One day, son, all this willy be yours...only by then it will have grown and grown...to hundreds of billions...it's called the cost of PFI.'

'Who ordered the chef's head?'

"Look, you took a huge fashion risk and it just didn't work out for you."

'Of course the swing is important, just don't allow it to pull focus from the neck.'