Executioner Lore Fan Gifts

'Oh, I hate when this happens! What do you do when you get a song stuck in your head?'

Vlad the Impala

'Restless Peg Syndrome.'

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

A rare picture of Henry VIII's divorce lawyer.

"We have a favor to ask."

'You might want to try another photographer, Sire. This one tends to cut the heads off.'

Naming that Impala

'Mind if I head off a little early today?'

Happy Birthday to you... Thanks guys!

William Tell Executions.

'Who ordered the chef's head?'

'Of course the swing is important, just don't allow it to pull focus from the neck.'

'No fair, man. How come you get a dessert fork?'

"Look, you took a huge fashion risk and it just didn't work out for you."

"What about the writers? Nobody ever blames the writers!"

'If I hear one more person say 'Just a little of the top' I'm going to lose it!'

"One final question... how did you hear about us/"

'I had hoped for some great farewell jokes!'

'My work clothes are at the cleaner's, so I had to borrow my kid's hoodie.'

'We're going to have to cut back a little this year ....'

"Heads or entrails?"

'I don't suppose an apology would suffice?'

'On a more positive note, your hot flashes will seem relatively cool.'

Don't Worry, Buddy I've Got Your Back!

'Governor's Pardon is on the way, Bob. Hang in there.'

"Gee—it's just like in the movies!"

Congratulations you are the 10,000.

'Henry, I wish you weren't so cheap and would hire a divorce lawyer.'

"Work's been really hard."

"Try some improv, they said. The king will it, they said!"

"The Emperor is naked - and he has a flabby butt!"

"We need 6 last meals over at table 9."