Executioner Lore Fan Pillows

'Oh, I hate when this happens! What do you do when you get a song stuck in your head?'

Vlad the Impala

Pull my finger! Zombie Humor.

'Restless Peg Syndrome.'

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

A rare picture of Henry VIII's divorce lawyer.

'You might want to try another photographer, Sire. This one tends to cut the heads off.'

Naming that Impala

"We have a favor to ask."

'Mind if I head off a little early today?'

William Tell Executions.

Happy Birthday to you... Thanks guys!

"Look, you took a huge fashion risk and it just didn't work out for you."

'No fair, man. How come you get a dessert fork?'

'Who ordered the chef's head?'

'Of course the swing is important, just don't allow it to pull focus from the neck.'

"What about the writers? Nobody ever blames the writers!"

Executioner with golf bag full of axes

"The Emperor is naked - and he has a flabby butt!"

"Mt. Joe Cemetary?"

'Governor's Pardon is on the way, Bob. Hang in there.'

Louie 'The Egg' Spignoli, The Hangman's Nightmare

'My work clothes are at the cleaner's, so I had to borrow my kid's hoodie.'

Don't Worry, Buddy I've Got Your Back!

'On a more positive note, your hot flashes will seem relatively cool.'

'I had hoped for some great farewell jokes!'

Congratulations you are the 10,000.

"Gee—it's just like in the movies!"

Devil with Fire and Brimstone In-Trays.

"Try some improv, they said. The king will it, they said!"

'If I hear one more person say 'Just a little of the top' I'm going to lose it!'

"We need 6 last meals over at table 9."

'I don't suppose an apology would suffice?'

"Heads or entrails?"

'We're going to have to cut back a little this year ....'