Execution Lore Keeper Pillows

'Oh, quit whimpering! -- Anybody would think that you're the only king in the world who every got his head chopped off!'

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

Billy would watch his ant farm for hours on end.

"Ours is not a creative clan."

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

"10th Anniversary Woodstock Reunion'

Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda

'Plimbco Bank &Trust, Old Money Division.'

It is a lesser known historical fact that Sir Edmund Hillary was also the first person to climb Mount Everest and forget to take the lens cap off.

Fenton G. Gonklemeyer, Computer Scientist - Booted Up 1928 and Crashed 2009.

"Why mum, I didn't know that you had written a book."

"Someday, Sweetheart, you’ll look back on this day and think to yourself, ‘Covid ruined my college experience.’"

'How do we SLEEP at night?'

"I remember that game of Spin-the-Bottle like it was yesterday. It was love at firstspin."

'Minyan Man! You've saved the day again!'

'That's a picture of my granddad with shoulder length hair and a beard. That's why mom calls these albums hair looms.'

"The Chinese Zodiac told me to marry a sheep. Who am I to question hundreds of years of ancient Chinese wisdom?"

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

Loch Ness Beer Monster

"When I was young, we personally prepared all the food for each and every meal!"

"I think I'll keep a diary..."

"The new computer is great, but we can't get rid of the old one. It knows too much."

"It was a mom-and-pop, but we inherited it."

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 11.

'You're always living in the past.'

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

"I put my faith in coal. Because there’s no fuel like an old fuel."

Man reads note, which reads: Have been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, I don't know where your dinner is.

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

A rare picture of Henry VIII's divorce lawyer.

"I'm getting too old for this..."