Executions Specialist Gifts

'Suddenly, I feel quite vulnerable.'

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

"There's no need for your kitty to be envious. After state and federal taxes and legal administrative fees, Chessy's share of Aunt Martha's estate came to hardly anything."

A rare picture of Henry VIII's divorce lawyer.

'What it all means is, ker-booom!'

"We have a favor to ask."

'You might want to try another photographer, Sire. This one tends to cut the heads off.'

'On the face of it, it sounds great that she left me her house, but it has gone stale and what Hansel and Gretel didn't eat the birds have had a go at.'

'We'll need some time-delay remote detonators and a big brick of C-4.'

'Mind if I head off a little early today?'

William Tell Executions.

Happy Birthday to you... Thanks guys!

'I'm going to ask you one more time; who left a hot mug on this table?'

'WOW! Did anyone see the recoil on this baby?'

'Who ordered the chef's head?'

"Look, you took a huge fashion risk and it just didn't work out for you."

Safety first - be aware of what is around you.

'I am prosecuting you for a breach of article 5 of the explosives act, storing black powder in a dangerous manor on unlicensed premises.'

'Of course the swing is important, just don't allow it to pull focus from the neck.'

'Gosh, who'd have guessed that when I said I'd have my people call your people, they'd come up with something like THIS?'

"What about the writers? Nobody ever blames the writers!"

'My phone's been tapped!'

'Henry, I wish you weren't so cheap and would hire a divorce lawyer.'

'Governor's Pardon is on the way, Bob. Hang in there.'

'I had hoped for some great farewell jokes!'

Louie 'The Egg' Spignoli, The Hangman's Nightmare

"Work's been really hard."

'My work clothes are at the cleaner's, so I had to borrow my kid's hoodie.'

"Gee—it's just like in the movies!"

"Everest summit 1 km merge left"

'If I hear one more person say 'Just a little of the top' I'm going to lose it!'

"Heads or entrails?"

"We need 6 last meals over at table 9."

'We're going to have to cut back a little this year ....'