Executions Specialist Gifts

'Suddenly, I feel quite vulnerable.'

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

"There's no need for your kitty to be envious. After state and federal taxes and legal administrative fees, Chessy's share of Aunt Martha's estate came to hardly anything."

'What it all means is, ker-booom!'

A rare picture of Henry VIII's divorce lawyer.

"We have a favor to ask."

'You might want to try another photographer, Sire. This one tends to cut the heads off.'

'On the face of it, it sounds great that she left me her house, but it has gone stale and what Hansel and Gretel didn't eat the birds have had a go at.'

'Mind if I head off a little early today?'

William Tell Executions.

Happy Birthday to you... Thanks guys!

'I'm going to ask you one more time; who left a hot mug on this table?'

'WOW! Did anyone see the recoil on this baby?'

'Who ordered the chef's head?'

"Look, you took a huge fashion risk and it just didn't work out for you."

'I am prosecuting you for a breach of article 5 of the explosives act, storing black powder in a dangerous manor on unlicensed premises.'

Safety first - be aware of what is around you.

'Of course the swing is important, just don't allow it to pull focus from the neck.'

'Gosh, who'd have guessed that when I said I'd have my people call your people, they'd come up with something like THIS?'

'My phone's been tapped!'

"What about the writers? Nobody ever blames the writers!"

"Try some improv, they said. The king will it, they said!"

"Gee—it's just like in the movies!"

"One final question... how did you hear about us/"

"Everest summit 1 km merge left"

Congratulations you are the 10,000.

"We need 6 last meals over at table 9."

'Henry, I wish you weren't so cheap and would hire a divorce lawyer.'

'I had hoped for some great farewell jokes!'

"Heads or entrails?"

'Remember he's got a short fuse.' (Chairman of an explosives company).

"How was your day, dear?"

'We're going to have to cut back a little this year ....'

"It's recently come to my attention that all government agencies are doing absolutely nothing. You're all fired."