Excuse Navigator Gifts

'I can't eat because I'm on a diet, I can't drink because of my ulcer and I can't be merry because I'm a grouch.'

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

'I don't like our new copier, it sliced my report into hundreds of tiny strips.'

'A dog ate my homework.'

'All those in doubt, raise your eyebrows.'

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

'My dog ate my computer.'

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

"Okay. . . so what's the bad news?"

"Your top 10 list of reasons why you didn't do your homework is creative, but not acceptable."

Hunting Skool. What about your project, Oogie? The dot ate my homework.

'Can I hand in my report tomorrow. Ms. D'Amato? I haven't finished reading the book. I've been too busy coloring it.'

My department was abducted by aliens so there is no data between January and April.

'If we can't come up with better ideas, at least we should have better excuses.'

"My homework is not done because our home modem is tool slow for downloading the answers."

'My arms are getting shorter.'

"Yes, I was using my mobile whilst driving... I was calling the police to tell them I was chasing a gang of bank robbers!"

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

'Homework done only $1.00' 'Homework eaten only $0.50'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

"I'm in big trouble. The dog ate my homework, and Dad ate my science project."

'Would you believe, I didn't get my homework done because of PMS?'

'I promoted Wetherby because he always comes up with better excuses.'

"Has our apologist been alerted?"

"Once again one of your "I'm late because I was abducted and operated on by aliens" excuses?"

"But mom, I can't clean my room now. I just won the Kids Bedroom Seal of Approval!"

'I leave it this way, because leaving it this way is a labor-saving device.'

Dog ride on dump truck and dispose of homework.

"I told you it was too soon to give him The Talk."

'The homework ate my dog.'

"I know you're wrong, I just can't get the computer to say it yet."

"Breakfast will be a little late. Our computer's down."