Excuse Navigator Gifts

'I can't eat because I'm on a diet, I can't drink because of my ulcer and I can't be merry because I'm a grouch.'

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

'I don't like our new copier, it sliced my report into hundreds of tiny strips.'

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

'All those in doubt, raise your eyebrows.'

'A dog ate my homework.'

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

'My dog ate my computer.'

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

"Your top 10 list of reasons why you didn't do your homework is creative, but not acceptable."

'Can I hand in my report tomorrow. Ms. D'Amato? I haven't finished reading the book. I've been too busy coloring it.'

My department was abducted by aliens so there is no data between January and April.

'If we can't come up with better ideas, at least we should have better excuses.'

"Yes, I was using my mobile whilst driving... I was calling the police to tell them I was chasing a gang of bank robbers!"

"My homework is not done because our home modem is tool slow for downloading the answers."

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

'My arms are getting shorter.'

'Homework done only $1.00' 'Homework eaten only $0.50'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

"I'm in big trouble. The dog ate my homework, and Dad ate my science project."

"Has our apologist been alerted?"

'Would you believe, I didn't get my homework done because of PMS?'

'I promoted Wetherby because he always comes up with better excuses.'

"But mom, I can't clean my room now. I just won the Kids Bedroom Seal of Approval!"

"Once again one of your "I'm late because I was abducted and operated on by aliens" excuses?"

'I leave it this way, because leaving it this way is a labor-saving device.'

"I know you're wrong, I just can't get the computer to say it yet."

"No internet connection"

"I didn't feel any 'earthquake'."

"After giving them the runaround for five minutes, pass them on to anger management."

'The homework ate my dog.'

"Breakfast will be a little late. Our computer's down."