Awkward Conversation Navigator Gifts

"Come with me. I've found someone who'll talk square footage with you."

"Try and stop me if you’ve heard this one before …"

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "My son's expressing curiosity about... well... you know." "I'm worried that maybe it's time to have the talk. How do I tell him about... you know... without making it seem like a good thing? I don't want him to go out and... you know." "I just want him to know how the... you know... works with the... you know... without making him want to go out and... you know." "Maybe you should buy him a book and call it a day." "I don't know..."

"I know all about the birds and bees, but what's all this about 'erectile dysfunction?'"

''The birds and the bees'? — Why, son, they're the most dangerous animals known to man!'

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

"Go about a foot and take a right, then it's the second left, no, no ... the third left, then straight …"

An Introvert's Guide to Surviving a Party

"Look, you asked me what my favorite book was and it just happens to be A Farewell to Arms."

Develop Your Social Skills: Asking Questions is a Great Way to Keep a Conversation Going.

'The Boss is coming to dinner tonight - please don't open a can of worms again.'

"Whisky? Have you got anything stronger?"

"I told you it was too soon to give him The Talk."

'I'm tired of all the small talk.'

"Dating advice from your old man? Ew, weird. Instead, let's ask Stinky Rick."

Coming Soon: The G.P.S. for Conversations

"Tell me about yourself... what you do, where you live, the last four digits of your social security number..."

Conversation Starter Kit

"Is it me, or does the old man still look angry at us for denting his Cadillac?"

'Wilcox! Do come in...I'm just leaving!'

"Try to play with a kid whose parent isn't too chatty."

"Be patient with Ed. You can skip his political harangue in 15 seconds and move right onto sports."

"Well, I guess if breathing through your mouth has kept you alive this far..."

But enough about me, let's talk about my job.

'When I said in my on-line profile that I was athletic, I meant that I like watching sports!'

"Isn't there a TED Talk he can listen to about the birds and the bees?"

"People don't understand that alcoholism is a hazard of my profession!"

'Bill, I'm sorry to hear about your going into the hospital. Is it a MALE problem?'

"The kids got candy and all I got were disturbed looks."

"Oh, great—here comes that crazy #@!*%! Jeff who won't shut up about conspiracy theories. How's my hair look?"

"You should have told me you needed advice."

"Brad, we've got to talk."

A rowing cox takes a taxi cab.

'There s nothing to discuss Lester...I told you maybe and that's final!!!'