Awkward Chat Navigator Gifts

Lunchroom Talk

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

"I figure I have about 20 years of school to go."

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

Department of Nanotechnology

"Go about a foot and take a right, then it's the second left, no, no ... the third left, then straight …"

Nethead strip: Speak binary

"Romeo,Romeo. Are you online,Romeo"

"Look, you asked me what my favorite book was and it just happens to be A Farewell to Arms."

Develop Your Social Skills: Asking Questions is a Great Way to Keep a Conversation Going.

'The Boss is coming to dinner tonight - please don't open a can of worms again.'

The Math Institute √π*962.9 KM

Young Pups In A Chat Room.

"Whisky? Have you got anything stronger?"

"I told you it was too soon to give him The Talk."

'I'm tired of all the small talk.'

Coming Soon: The G.P.S. for Conversations

Conversation Starter Kit

"Try and stop me if you’ve heard this one before …"

'Wilcox! Do come in...I'm just leaving!'

"Be patient with Ed. You can skip his political harangue in 15 seconds and move right onto sports."

"Well, I guess if breathing through your mouth has kept you alive this far..."

"Try to play with a kid whose parent isn't too chatty."

But enough about me, let's talk about my job.

'When I said in my on-line profile that I was athletic, I meant that I like watching sports!'

'My date last night was a 10. Of course, I'm using the binary system.'

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "My son's expressing curiosity about... well... you know." "I'm worried that maybe it's time to have the talk. How do I tell him about... you know... without making it seem like a good thing? I don't want him to go out and... you know." "I just want him to know how the... you know... works with the... you know... without making him want to go out and... you know." "Maybe you should buy him a book and call it a day." "I don't know..."

"You should have told me you needed advice."

"The kids got candy and all I got were disturbed looks."

"People don't understand that alcoholism is a hazard of my profession!"

"Isn't there a TED Talk he can listen to about the birds and the bees?"

"Oh, great—here comes that crazy #@!*%! Jeff who won't shut up about conspiracy theories. How's my hair look?"

"I know all about the birds and bees, but what's all this about 'erectile dysfunction?'"

"Brad, we've got to talk."

"Junior must be in here somewhere."