Chat Room Navigator Gifts

"Romeo,Romeo. Are you online,Romeo"

'Harold's found his inner-child. On the internet he's a sixteen year old cheerleader named 'Minky'.'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I was the loudest."

"We need a best practice swim lane to leverage our core competency, move the needle outside the box, and open the kimono while keeping our ducks in a row. Can anyone give me a sustainable solution to more vertical effectiveness without getting too granula

'I think I found the bottleneck, Boss.'

"We want to include you in this decision without letting you affect it."

"Come to my office. I need to cascade with you offline."

Catroom.

"Cassius Clay....Muhammad Ali....was one name his chatroom nickname or user name?"

'I have no idea what a Wiki is but I want one on my desk next week, now move it, people!'

'Let's begin our meeting. Everybody talk, nobody listen.'

Young Pups In A Chat Room.

'The Boss is coming to dinner tonight - please don't open a can of worms again.'

"They say you shouldn't go to bed angry, so let's have it out right now before we go to sleep!"

Production Meeting: Excuses

Female Boss 6

'It's all right, Dad -- it's a Buddhist chat room!'

'We know it makes you happy, but your father and I think you're spending too much time on the computer.'

Coming Soon: The G.P.S. for Conversations

"It's just a dinner table conversation. Must you refer to it as 'Talking Off-line'."

"Don't you understand, he's a Creature of the Web?! If he doesn't log on soon, it'll be too late!"

"If you weren't prepared to agree with everyone, why did you leave your office?"

'Your best shot is to whimper outside the door, and see what happens.'

"Oh, I'm okay. This is just my resting zoom face."

"It's the break room, Ed. There are people in there, too. I know it's hard, after all that time working from home, but you're going to have to start getting used to them again."

"Be patient with Ed. You can skip his political harangue in 15 seconds and move right onto sports."

"Ironic, isn't it? I spend one-third of my life asleep, and the other two-thirds pretending to be awake!"

Conversation Starter Kit

"Try and stop me if you’ve heard this one before …"

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "My son's expressing curiosity about... well... you know." "I'm worried that maybe it's time to have the talk. How do I tell him about... you know... without making it seem like a good thing? I don't want him to go out and... you know." "I just want him to know how the... you know... works with the... you know... without making him want to go out and... you know." "Maybe you should buy him a book and call it a day." "I don't know..."

"I know all about the birds and bees, but what's all this about 'erectile dysfunction?'"

"People don't understand that alcoholism is a hazard of my profession!"

"You should have told me you needed advice."

"Brad, we've got to talk."