Messy Room Navigator Gifts

"Junior must be in here somewhere."

'Now will you go and do your homework!'

"Today is Earth Day! A day to restore wildlife habitats to their original condition!"

"Never mind rehearsing for your first year at Uni. Get up now!"

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

Newborn Chaos

"Go about a foot and take a right, then it's the second left, no, no ... the third left, then straight …"

'Marmaduke, have you been drooling on my cookbooks again?'

Pigeon Memos

'Now, you'd better pick up your toys or no bath!'

"Bird of paradise, my ass."

'I'd like to come over, but Mom cleaned my room and it's going to take me all day to put it right again.'

'How can he remember 37 passwords but always forget to pick his clothes up off the floor?'

"It's the break room, Ed. There are people in there, too. I know it's hard, after all that time working from home, but you're going to have to start getting used to them again."

'You should apply for government relief. Your room is a disaster area!'

"Are we there yet?"

"Try and stop me if you’ve heard this one before …"

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "My son's expressing curiosity about... well... you know." "I'm worried that maybe it's time to have the talk. How do I tell him about... you know... without making it seem like a good thing? I don't want him to go out and... you know." "I just want him to know how the... you know... works with the... you know... without making him want to go out and... you know." "Maybe you should buy him a book and call it a day." "I don't know..."

"I know all about the birds and bees, but what's all this about 'erectile dysfunction?'"

"Oh, great—here comes that crazy #@!*%! Jeff who won't shut up about conspiracy theories. How's my hair look?"

"Dear Ask Sadie, My mom is always nagging me to clean my room. I don't see why I should have to. I like it the way it is. I don't nag at her for having a clean room, because I know that's how she likes it. How can I get her to just let me be?" "Excellent question. The thing is, it's your mother's job to shape you into a respectable person." "If you think 'being you' includes being dirty, that means you're a dirty, slovenly filth-beast..." "...who will end up alone and miserable because no liv

'I've gotta go to the john. Have you seen my travel mug?'

A rowing cox takes a taxi cab.

"Your room isn't a rubbish tip! go and mess it up now!!"

''The birds and the bees'? — Why, son, they're the most dangerous animals known to man!'

A 'Life is Sweet!' Moment

"Inspiration"

'Something's wrong -- yesterday, the sun set in the West.'

'It's hard to believe her biggest passion is for a cleaner environment.'

"When I told you to change your socks... I didn't mean from one foot to another!"

I thought I told you to straighten your room. (Originally published on 2008-01-08).

'Yes your room needs cleaning, the dust bunnies have become full grown rabbits!'

Car navigation

'Well I hope that my talk has been useful in helping you all to understand the work of reception staff.'

Detour Sign