Awkward Situation Navigator Gifts

But enough about me, let's talk about my job.

'This year, giving holiday gifts may be problematic. I want to regift, but I don't remember who gave me what gift.'

'I thought it was polite to ask about the baby. I didn't know she was just overweight.'

"We need you to fill out this form again....and this time don't skip the embarrassing parts."

"Whisky? Have you got anything stronger?"

Develop Your Social Skills: Asking Questions is a Great Way to Keep a Conversation Going.

"The kids got candy and all I got were disturbed looks."

Pillow Talk

'Wilcox! Do come in...I'm just leaving!'

'Barry, actually a kiss on the cheek will do it.'

"It's been a wonderful evening, Fred -- Please don't spoil it by making me squirt you with pepper spray."

I want to apologise for getting drunk and tipping my wine over your new girlfriend at the party next week."

"Believe me, there's no 'Hot Looking Woman' living here!"

"I looked at a woman's bottom after laughing at an ironic racism joke, then I got into an argument with a guy about his religion. When I got home my dog looked at me as if I was Hitler!!..."

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

'All those in doubt, raise your eyebrows.'

Awkward First Dates

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

"If you think the first half of this psychological test is intrusive, wait until you're grilled by me mother."

'Don't worry, son. This bed inking incident will be our little secret.'

"Go about a foot and take a right, then it's the second left, no, no ... the third left, then straight …"

An Introvert's Guide to Surviving a Party

Chatty, garlic-coffee breath, apathetic, contagious

"Over the river and through a ridiculous detour that has us in the middle of who-knows-where, to Grandfather’s house we go!"

'I'm tired of all the small talk.'

"I told you it was too soon to give him The Talk."

"Look, I know Estella has a boyfriend. I would never try to break them up. But it's not illegal to text friends...and we're still friends..."

"Try and stop me if you’ve heard this one before …"

"Try to play with a kid whose parent isn't too chatty."

"Is it me, or does the old man still look angry at us for denting his Cadillac?"

"So, have you two been doing anything reproductive?"

Lost in the shuffle, Bob refused to stop and ask for directions.

'Vocabulary doesn't seem that hard 'til you start trying to use it on girls.'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: Alumnae News

Road signs.