Awkwardness Navigator Gifts

"Baldo, a young man like you might have a lot of questions...about feelings, emotions...not knowing what is right and wrong. Remember, mi'jo...I'm here if you need me."

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

"Well, I've come this close to asking out Sylvia Sanchez. But I'm just an average guy! Nothing about me says 'I'm cool! Look at me!'"

'Don't worry, son. This bed inking incident will be our little secret.'

'You made a complete fool of yourself at the party last night...I just hope no one knows you were sober.'

"Go about a foot and take a right, then it's the second left, no, no ... the third left, then straight …"

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

"God help us, it's that guy."

An Introvert's Guide to Surviving a Party

Man leaves sperm bank. Woman says: 'Thanks, do come again.'

"All in favor of telling Anderson about that thing stuck to his lip, say aye."

Develop Your Social Skills: Asking Questions is a Great Way to Keep a Conversation Going.

"Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact. Don't...."

"Whisky? Have you got anything stronger?"

'I'm tired of all the small talk.'

"Since no one showed up, I'll keep my remarks brief."

Gerald's first ever date remains on track.

"OK, here comes Sylvia Sanchez...it's a perfect time to ask her to the homecoming dance."

"Over the river and through a ridiculous detour that has us in the middle of who-knows-where, to Grandfather’s house we go!"

A cat and a dog are embarrassed to find themselves on an elevator together.

"I told you it was too soon to give him The Talk."

"Ice rink"

"Somewhere along the line the world got a whole lot dorkier."

Recession the plus side: embarrassing 'water cooler moments' less frequent.

"Is it me, or does the old man still look angry at us for denting his Cadillac?"

'Wilcox! Do come in...I'm just leaving!'

"Try and stop me if you’ve heard this one before …"

"Try to play with a kid whose parent isn't too chatty."

But enough about me, let's talk about my job.

Lost in the shuffle, Bob refused to stop and ask for directions.

The plumber asks out the cable lady.

'Vocabulary doesn't seem that hard 'til you start trying to use it on girls.'

"You should have told me you needed advice."